Ain't ever happening again.

Ain't ever happening again.

I mean this is a sobriety blog from a sober alcoholic.

Well what can I write about my sobriety other than it is going awesomely. Haven't wanted any alcohol since about week two or three of my first month of sobriety.

I just don't get folks, alcoholics who ritualistically continue to say on one hand I want to be sober, while on or rather in the other hand is another glass of whatever poison going inside to kill themselves.

Quit is quit. Or another fuuking excuse to drink another glass of poison.

On the other hand is my former spiritual leader. Our church had literally died down to he and I after my mom died 6 years ago. And out of honour and my need to maintain a certain normalcy, we continued to meet in my home after mom died. 

And Pastor X would drink. And his drinking became a noticeable problem to me sometime about seven months ago. I began doubling back on his vehicle when he left my home after church and lunch. He would say he was going home. I would watch his vehicle pass from my observation place headed in the opposite direction and back to his favorite pub.

And then there were the past several years of his sounding impaired and sometimes intoxicated. And then 4 weeks ago I needed a ride after popping my tire. He answered and sounded impaired. I challenged him. He said he wasn't impaired. I missed a call from him 45 minutes later while still at my breakdown site. His message when I listened to it was from an obviously very intoxicated man. The tow truck driver said he would drive me home. I called my friend and told him I had a ride home.

The next day I sent him a text message with his intoxicated voice message attached.

And I have not heard from him since.

After over ten 10 years as my pastor

He has ghosted me

And because I do not want to live responsible for any deaths he may cause while drinking and driving

I called his family. 

An 83 year old man should not be alone to drink and drive intoxicated. His family is stepping in to control him.

I could not stand by and be responsible for an old drunk killing anyone. 

And that's how the church my mom once attended has now ended. I will not attend a church where the pastor is not in control of their alcohol consumption.