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Fabrications And Looking Beyond The Yellow Brick Road.

I always paid my child-support.  I ensured my child always had the proper sized violin and weekly lessons from when they were three and a half and asked to learn a musical instrument until they decided they didn't want to take violin lessons eleven years later at age 14.   I was a member of a class-action lawsuit against the state of Oklahoma for the deprivation of our civil rights by the corrupt (anti-)family court system.
I taught my child that they could be anything they wanted to be regardless.  And of course there is so much I was there for and did for them.  And I was a binge end of the day drinker too with an ever increasing addiction to alcohol.

May 2016 drove over 120 miles from my home to the town of my child's graduation arriving there a little before nine o'clock in the morning and the ten o'clock beginning of their graduation.
While texting with them from the arena they told me again what they had already text to me days before; That since I had not paid for any of their college education and their mom had, they would have no time to see me as that time was for their mom.  (They believe I should have waited to attend college myself and helped them pay for college. They've never had a job.)
When their name was announced for their diploma over the loudspeaker I whooped my single syllable nickname for them loudly (they text later that they heard me plainly and clearly).
I text towards the end of the ceremony my desire to see and hug them congratulations.
The reply was that they had no time to see me as that time was their mom's.
We left before the very end and found a restaurant where we enjoyed a nice meal before the two hour 120 mile return home.
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My ex-mother-in-law with whom I made peace with fifteen years ago, and who doesn't have my ex-wife's phone number and hasn't heard from her daughter in years, nor heard from my child in months, apologised again to me three weeks ago.  She is so sorry that her daughter, my ex-wife, has perpetuated (Click here=>Parent Alienation Syndrome)
Beyond my alcoholism there are other forces which can act upon my life.

I am responsible for my actions and they for their's.

Sometimes Aberrant Personality Disorder is just that.

Sometimes life just is what it is; 

And nothing more, nor nothing less.

Building Home From Hoarderdom.

I accumulated troves of reasons justifying strangely enough my intoxication. I am delighted to be throwing down the bonds from hoarding boxes of reasons of fears and what has been lost for sanity and order in my home as I have in my sobriety Thank God. Hoardership is as rough a go as is alcoholism.  Baggage to carry around.  

I was accepted to be on the television show about hoarders.  However even with the pictures I sent to them of my box filled home, the fact of both of my parents dying from cancer, my car being hit and totaled by a pill-stoned woman, current college debt, fulltime college student status, two aunts dying, four friends dying from cancer, and my attaining sobriety just nine months before contacting them; Hoarders would not put me on their show because I did not have enough conflict in my life.  My child did not want to participate in the show.  My landlord was not evicting me.  I did not want my ex-wife involved.  "Hoarders" told me I did not have enough conflict even though my home looked like a packed U-Haul storage room with pathways to walk with only two places to sit and my bed. Never mind that I had set aside the emotions attached and assigned by me which had only extrinsic value alone in reality, yet for me carried fulfilled and unfulfilled memories.

And so three weeks before my birthday, I began the process of shaping the place I live in into my home.  The neat and clean home I unfortunately did not provide for my child I now needed to shape for myself from the rubble created by my alcoholism into a home for living life.  The process of sorting, throwing, saving, and probably not saving strategies were immense especially for me a hoarder.  A dear friend of mine sat at my table and surfed the internet as moral support while I clean.  Two days before my birthday I had to kick into pack it away in the spare bedroom mode because I needed 7/8th's of my apartment clean for my birthday party.

My first party in my home since my birthday party fifteen years ago.  I was in heaven that people could enter into my home without me being embarrassed or ashamed.  Proud.  I was proud enough to announce my conquering not only my alcoholism, but also the concluding end of my hoarding.  My child did not want to attend, did not acknowledge my birthday other than to text we could maybe have coffee in the weeks to come.

That spare bedroom and those two closets will be completed being cleaned and built into order sometime in the weeks of August after my second anniversary of sobriety 6 August 2016.

Thank God Almighty I Am Sober.  

I Am Sober At Last.  

And My Home's Almost There Too.

Remember you never know just what

those you meet might be dealing with.

Ten Days.

Please forgive me that I have not posted in ten days.  I have getting my physical house/home in order.  Such an accumulation of brick-brac, flotsam, treasures and treats, trash, and just stuff that I must go through in order to complete my digout from years of putting off in order to drink.  You know not facing what I should have in order to not face my failures, disappointments, and victimizations both real and imagined. So boxes of my life have accumulated at an incredible amount.  I have needed to concentrate on the many thoughts which have been locked up in boxes real and imagined to which I must now deal with, sort through, contain, dispose of, and take possession of my life again now that I am sober.

Happily sober with conviction that I have consumed all the alcohol I am allowed to drink for a lifetime and must allow the others of the world their fair share of alcohol consumption.  I if drink again I know I will drink myself to death in days.  I cannot control that I will die, nor can I control how I will die; except for the fact that I know possess, own, control the simple fact that at my death I can control that I am dying sober.

More this evening on my divestiture of my stuff.  I don't want to offend my readers so I will not launch into the George Carlin routine about collecting stuff(so to speak my speak and not George Carlin's.)

Peace my brothers and sisters.
Remain sober.
Remain vigilant.
Sobriety can be obtained by you.

Second Place Is First Loser.

Part One: In The First Place.
My dear old dad became a body builder in his early sixties and took on believing the phrase which I used for the title of this post.
Drastic phraseology for almost everything.  The phraseology works quite well regarding quitting, stopping, sobering up, becoming a sober alcoholic.  Anything other than first place in the thinking of winning and staying sober comes down to being, seeing, feeling, knowing that, "Second Place And Drinking IS First Boozer Loser."  This thinking is soft at best in the quest for sobriety.  Good, better, best. Never rest till good is better and better is sober's best.  Second place is intoxicated in this case at best; and a loser in sobriety.
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Part Two: In The Second Place; Aids towards accomplishment in life, sobriety,
1. Socialize.
2. Celebrate life everyway every minute.
3. Keep busy and occupied fully daily.
4. Keep positive thought always going.
5. Retrain your brain to think positively.

Most Importantly...Aids towards sleeping.........
6. Never look at a clock once in bed even if you awaken in the night.  It just doesn't matter what time it is.  The time really doesn't matter.  You still have that much time to sleep after being asleep for that long.  If you think about the time you are not thinking about sleep.
7. Cease cell phone, tablet, computer, etc., usage thirty minutes to one hour before bedtime.  The lights from those devices no matter how dim still active deep within the brain.
8. Put your problems on an imaginary shelf before you go to bed.  You don't need to carry them with you to sleep.  They'll still be there in the morning.
9. No other thinking in bed besides peaceful meditation of your choice.  It's bedtime so leave the day for tomorrow.
10. Celebrate your life, retrain your brain, and love yourself to sleep.  Like totally.

First Place Is The Winner Owning Sobriety.

I WILL

I WILL 

Is opposite

 I could've

 I should've

 I would've.

And of course 

I WILL

Is very opposite 

I can't.

I WILL

Remain sober.

I Earned The Name.

Talk about positive reinforcement.  Every time I logon and write Ima Soberalcoholic, I am reminded of just who in part I am.  However, only just a part of who I am.  
Throughout my life while drinking I achieved accomplishments and failures just as everybody encounters through living life.  
My successes were in no part because of my drinking although, they were dampened by my consumption of alcohol which continued increasing.  
My failures definitely were attributable to my drinking alcohol.
Success outwardly I may have enjoyed, yet shame and denial otherwise detracted from what should have only been my celebration.  Deep inside I knew the truth, yet lied and denied to myself.  Oh sure "everybody" lies and denies unto themselves to some degree.  I was lying and denying myself the truth of my addition.
Achievements are now sweeter as they no longer are blurred into the shadows by another drink.  I enjoy sobriety so much more now than I once did of intoxication.  Eyes wide open and loving life. 

Even a so-so day is now so darned awesome and welcomed by me.  The positive reinforcement each time I type, Ima Soberalcoholic comes from the resonance of the joy and satisfaction I feel living life sober.  I also believe successfully staying sober not only involves changing how and what the individual quitting thinks, but also occupying the new time of sobriety, or whatever has been quit, with positive actions.
Equally as important for everybody is to not allow the solution to become more intrusive than the problem.  The solution should be a beginning unto itself...not a bigger problem than the problem was itself.  Simplify.  Quitting anything and changing behaviours are just single steps unto themselves moving towards a simpler way of life.

I don't like the title but I earned it,
Sincerely,
Ima Soberalcoholic

A Lifetime Share. Et tu?

A Lifetime Share.

Et tu?

I have had my lifetime share from the world's supply of alcohol.

Believe me when I say this because, I thought myself a connoisseur. 

There are many types of liquor flavors,

I attempted to try them all because of the flavor.

True the flavor; true it is alcohol too.

And it is not fair of me to be so slovenly as to not share with you,

Each and everyone of you deserves your lifetime portion of this potion.

Will you also fail your survey of flavors and varieties of liquor just like I did?

And do you believe wrongly or rightly so that unlike me

Alcohol will never become your foe?

Or will it has it already become so?

The world is a pearl in the oyster laying at your feet.

How will you arise and make your greet?

It is not that we choose to breathe or for our heart to beat,

It is though how we choose to live our life

Which will lead us to our victories.

I survived my lifetime share from the world's supply of alcohol,

And it is not fair of me to be so slovenly as to not share with you.

The world is a pearl in the oyster laying at your feet.

How will you arise and make your greet?

I survived my lifetime share from the world's supply of alcohol.

Et tu?

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Some Days I Almost Forget.

My joke posted yesterday is because someday's I just do not think about my alcoholism.  Some days it is a fleeting thought, and some days there is brief thought.  Any thought of any resumption quickly culminates because I simply refuse to walk the road in hell of practicing alcoholism ever again.  So some days I simply don't give any thought about my sobriety as there isn't any need for me to do so.

Regardless, each morning I awaken, and each evening I lay my head to sleep and pray, my prayers always include thanksgiving for my continued sobriety.

Some days I almost forget, and just live my life by the minute minute of each enjoy.  But every day it is always on my mind.

A Fifty Year Old Joke. SHHH. No Mention Of Alcoholism Today.

An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. 

The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged lady and was being used by her little dog. The war weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?" 

The English woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, "You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my Little Fifi is using that seat?" 

The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog. 

Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there? I'm very tired." 

The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!" 

The soldier didn't say anything else; he leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. 

The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier. 

An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, "You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing." 
"You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand."
"You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road." 
"And now, Sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window."


Goodnight Gracie, wherever you may be.

The Day After. Retrain Your Brain.

So coming into my twenty-fourth month of sobriety feels good.  I am confident, although not cocky about remaining sober.  As with any foundation laid in life, a solid foundation is best, yet still requires maintenance.

We humans learn behaviours which can be beneficial, and to which can also prove harmful.  It is in the unlearning of these/this behaviour through which alone the solution can become part of the problem as well.  Circumventing this in part, can in part provide another resource in maintaining continuance of whatever positive behaviour modification has been transformed.  Providing support of the behaviour transformation should remain vital in the health and healing successfully away from this behaviour.  The mental cognitive abilities can be changed with several modifications of living circumstance for the individual.

First by diet and I'll leave it up to each individual what to eat.  Avoiding caffeine after a certain time before bed would be an awesome beginning.  Eating dark red cherries before bedtime and eating dark chocolate periodically throughout the earlier part of the daytime.

Second by new positive habits.
"The harvest is plenteous, but the labourers are few." This line came to me while I was cutting whole chickens down and praying simultaneously the other day.
Many people give to the food charities, and many people take from the food charities.
The food charities always need volunteers.
1. Volunteering at a food charity will provide positive time spent on the service to others while providing an outlet of a sober environment.
2. Volunteer reading to children at the public library.  Spend extra time there researching someplace you've always wanted to travel to and become and expert about that area.
3. Read some of the world's great novels and write a summary of what you learned and what more you can research about.  Library use is free, both the public library as well as university libraries.
4. Create a pseudonym like I have, and write a blog about your experiences.  If you can help only one other person walk free from the road in the hell of practicing alcoholism, then your blog has served well.
5. Retrain your brain.
Let me say that again, Retrain your brain.  The poor thing needs to learn cognitive thought again.
Keep it busy.  Let me say that again, Keep your brain busy.  Read study learn.
I study about alcoholism and have for over a year.  I enjoy reading what others have to say.
Bottom line is still; Retrain Your Brain.  It needs to learn how to think clearly again.
Keep your body and mind busy with positive actions; your sobriety will have a better chance.
6. Learn to love yourself again.  Learn to love yourself again.  Reward yourself for your good behaviour.  Learn to love yourself again.
7. Learn to love others again.


Peace.

23 Months Sober Today.

23 month's sober today hurray.  If you know me in person coming up to me and congratulating me quietly, or calling me and congratulating me is like totally in order.  I have earned it.

23 months ago I had taken two one month summer classes and was drinking so much I hadn't even attended the June class for the first of the four weeks, and withdrew from the July class.  Thankfully I was forgiven from my missed June class and given a "W" for withdrawal.  LOL withdrawal would wait until 6 August 2014.

There are enough reminders remaining from my daze of intoxication, and yet I worry someday I will forget the misery of intoxicated stupor.  I want to remember it enough and keep it on the back burner of memories just to ensure I never walk that road in hell again.

I am 23 month's sober today!

History And Ironic Irony.

Being a lover of history and ironic irony, my first day sober is 6 August 2014.
At the time it was just the day I wanted to cease my walk in hell and begin my climb out from the bowels of my alcoholism.
Only several months after quitting drinking did I realize Hiroshima day is also 6 August.
My fourth month sober was 6 December,
and my fifth month sober was 6 January.
6 January is the day most Christians celebrate as Epiphany or the Manifestation day of Jesus Christ to the Gentiles; and continues to be an anniversary day for me, as well as my annual celebration of 6 August.
Now how coolio is that?

How Does A Sober Alcoholic Celebrate 757,382,400 Seconds Of Sobriety; Ginger?

So today's question to answer is stated above in the title.

Not only will 6 July '16 be my 23rd month celebration of sobriety, but the planning stage of my planning upcoming 6 August '16, 2 years, 24 months, 8,766 days, 210,384 hours, 12,623,040 minutes, 757,382,400 seconds of living an awesome life (okay sometimes it's just okay but better still) sober celebration.

So how should I celebrate my 757,382,400 seconds on my new life sober?
International hike naked day 21 June, has passed; which might be a problem in my locale as with most locals anyways lol.  Still not considered socially prudent for me to stand along a roadside with a poster board proclaiming "LIVING SOBER NOW TWO YEARS" either which is a social bummer also.  Just a small close circle knows of my victory.  Most importantly, I know of my Victories.

How about sitting on a rock down by the river's side, sipping on an ice cold N/A 26 grams of ginger per bottle of ginger beer? Mmmmhowdy is that what you're thinking too?

Here's my toast for happiness for all sobering alcoholics in their strength in the forage of sobriety.