30 October 2017
Life Is Awesome With Freedom From Addiction:^)
I am still strong in my forage of sobriety; never to return. Yes Sean Connery, did say never say never again. That's him and this is me, Ima Sober Alcoholic. I cannot and will not go back. I look forward now with greater strength and resolve in my awesome happiness living a sober clean and awesome life by living day by day rejoicing my sobriety.
I will write more soon as I am finally able to digest and divest myself from this years first quarter's happenings; and figuratively have regained my voice and desire to publish my strength's of, from, and for my deepest and most sincere desire to remain sober.
The growth of love with my best friend, "Buttercup" is The best experience I've ever experienced. She is the woman of my deep, deep prayers, and I am so blessed in being able to offer Buttercup myself clean and sober. I enjoy no longer looking back, instead I love looking forward daily now.
Gotta tell you tho, nicotine is awful hard to quit however, with my strength and knowledge gained from my freedom from alcohol, I don't B.S. myself anymore about quitting nicotine.
The street "cred" I've gained from now being sober from alcohol now continues to guide me in my remaining free from nicotine.
Today is year 3, month 2, week 3, day 3, free Thank God Almighty free from ETOH.
Today is week 6, day 3, Thank God Almighty free from nicotine.
Today is week 3, day 3, Thank God Almighty free from non-medicinal chronic cannabinoids.
(Neural stimulating, C.B.D.'s are an honest Godsend)
With my knowledge gained from my honesty with myself about my alcoholic abuses, I am Thank God Almighty Free...I am free at last.
GOTTA TELL YOU THO, nicotine gum sure goes a long way curtailing my occasional now cravings from nicotine withdrawal. Nicotine is one hard thing to quit and Thank God Almighty I Am Free At Last:^)
I Love You Buttercup.
MORE AND MORE!
Thank you for being my best friend you are an awesome woman!
03 April 2017
gotta take a break and go for a walk
February and March of this year were incredible months. I need time to digest more before regurgitating more of the story.
Time for me to go take a four mile walk.
TTFN.
09 March 2017
WOW. Lot's Happened Since Last I Posted. WARNING: I'm Gonna Be Ranting.
Let me first condense what I have to say here and now, then expound with greater detail soon as I am just now decompressing from THE Most Interesting five weeks I've ever had. Soooo here goes my initial rant.
What the heck do my practicing alcoholic friend's think, or rather cannot possibly be thinking. To even be around me when they're or you're drinking is plane old stupid I am telling you what.
My sense of smell has always been very good however, now that I am a sober alcoholic I have an ever better...Like Really darned Great sense of smell.
Sheet you think you can hide that stinking smell of alcohol oozing from your pores? REALLY???
You really are stupid!
I know that smell!
I've stunk that smell from my own pores and now find that smell in particular,
Extremely,
Totally,
Horribly,
THE WORSE SMELL IN THE WORLD.
AND for that friend of mine since Ronald Reagan's last term in office...
Fooled me once Sept. 2016 when we came out to Taos when you broke your transverse process of your back. You probably were drinking when you slipped and broke it in the first place.
And Yet still I believed you this past 15 February 2017 when I picked you up in Taos.
Stupid me a second time to believe you were sober. Stupid me.
DID you really think even you could somehow Superman your way through your alcoholic consumption and not stinky smell??? REALLY??? That's stupid. You're stupid!
You are SO lucky I didn't boot your arse out onto the Arizona desert like I promised I would if you drank.
What did I stupidly believe? You THAT'S what. YOU!!!
That stinking smell I will never ever forget on any person.
And you actually fooled me. You smelled okay initially.
Even after you "forgot" your Big Book for us to work on while driving,
I actually believed, hesitantly tho, that you forgot it.
So when I saw you tip your head back three times while standing up facing the toilet in a closed stall; I guess you thought that big hat hid you and that I wasn't still by then suspicious? So while we drove further towards Mesa, AZ, I prayed God what to do with you.
Leave you there on the highway?
Then your 1, 2, 3, 4, etc...breaches of trust.
Believed you again because by this time I was so stressed out trying to retrieve my friend from that crappy hospital he was stuck in, I endured with you.
AND it was going to cost me over $100.00 to get rid of your stinking, drinking, arse.
I struggled as a Christian and as a friend.
That second night when you left at three thirty in the morning and didn't return until five thirty was the IT. Bus ticket time.
You had to GO! I was not and am not going to enable you one single iota more. Sober up.
One of these day's it'd be nice for you to apologize.
But then again first you will have to sober up won't you?
I am beginning Al-anon to further help me understand as a sober alcoholic what ravages I raged also upon others while I was a practicing alcoholic.
I will write more about my own screw up/ups next time.
More soon.
Love,
Ima Soberalcoholic
What the heck do my practicing alcoholic friend's think, or rather cannot possibly be thinking. To even be around me when they're or you're drinking is plane old stupid I am telling you what.
My sense of smell has always been very good however, now that I am a sober alcoholic I have an ever better...Like Really darned Great sense of smell.
Sheet you think you can hide that stinking smell of alcohol oozing from your pores? REALLY???
You really are stupid!
I know that smell!
I've stunk that smell from my own pores and now find that smell in particular,
Extremely,
Totally,
Horribly,
THE WORSE SMELL IN THE WORLD.
AND for that friend of mine since Ronald Reagan's last term in office...
Fooled me once Sept. 2016 when we came out to Taos when you broke your transverse process of your back. You probably were drinking when you slipped and broke it in the first place.
And Yet still I believed you this past 15 February 2017 when I picked you up in Taos.
Stupid me a second time to believe you were sober. Stupid me.
DID you really think even you could somehow Superman your way through your alcoholic consumption and not stinky smell??? REALLY??? That's stupid. You're stupid!
You are SO lucky I didn't boot your arse out onto the Arizona desert like I promised I would if you drank.
What did I stupidly believe? You THAT'S what. YOU!!!
That stinking smell I will never ever forget on any person.
And you actually fooled me. You smelled okay initially.
Even after you "forgot" your Big Book for us to work on while driving,
I actually believed, hesitantly tho, that you forgot it.
So when I saw you tip your head back three times while standing up facing the toilet in a closed stall; I guess you thought that big hat hid you and that I wasn't still by then suspicious? So while we drove further towards Mesa, AZ, I prayed God what to do with you.
Leave you there on the highway?
Then your 1, 2, 3, 4, etc...breaches of trust.
Believed you again because by this time I was so stressed out trying to retrieve my friend from that crappy hospital he was stuck in, I endured with you.
AND it was going to cost me over $100.00 to get rid of your stinking, drinking, arse.
I struggled as a Christian and as a friend.
That second night when you left at three thirty in the morning and didn't return until five thirty was the IT. Bus ticket time.
You had to GO! I was not and am not going to enable you one single iota more. Sober up.
One of these day's it'd be nice for you to apologize.
But then again first you will have to sober up won't you?
I am beginning Al-anon to further help me understand as a sober alcoholic what ravages I raged also upon others while I was a practicing alcoholic.
I will write more about my own screw up/ups next time.
More soon.
Love,
Ima Soberalcoholic
22 February 2017
BEST $109 I EVER SPENT IN MY LIFETIME.
One way to get rid of the dead weight of a stinking drinking lying practicing alcoholic is to apply bus ticket therapy. Bloody Well Did Me Awesome Wonderful!!!
Heck all I knew was Greyhound would eventually get him to Albuquerque and the commuter rail to Santa Fe and the region bus to Taos. I didn't care at all about scheduling because I was finally free of my drinking lying friend of 33 years. Last straw for this sober alcoholic and reflection time.
BOY IS THERE MORE TO THIS STORY TO COME.
Heck all I knew was Greyhound would eventually get him to Albuquerque and the commuter rail to Santa Fe and the region bus to Taos. I didn't care at all about scheduling because I was finally free of my drinking lying friend of 33 years. Last straw for this sober alcoholic and reflection time.
BOY IS THERE MORE TO THIS STORY TO COME.
Maricopa County Health and Sheriff's Department Report's Filled Out By Me.
Much much more on this!!!!
17 February 2017
A Drive Testing Every Limit Of My Christianity AND Compassion.
Drinking stinking fool thought he could sneak a drink by me for a week? SHEET!!!
I picked him up in Taos. Should have known he was sinking drinking lying when he forgot his Big Book. He's lucky during this day he didn't end up roadside like I promised, buzzard snack and all!!!
This day is so full of fun to report we BOTH gotta come back to this page!!!
I picked him up in Taos. Should have known he was sinking drinking lying when he forgot his Big Book. He's lucky during this day he didn't end up roadside like I promised, buzzard snack and all!!!
This day is so full of fun to report we BOTH gotta come back to this page!!!
16 February 2017
14 February 2017
C.H. Is Dumped For The First And Second Times, More To Come. Ambulance Ride.
THE ONLY WAY for me to digest and disseminate what transpired is to free myself from it one step by formulating my ideas here.
You won't be getting it all; just a few ugly tastes:+(
You won't be getting it all; just a few ugly tastes:+(
12 February 2017
Not Much
Church and learning about C.H.'s oxygen needs increasing and meeting disasters to come. And D.H.'s possible sobriety.
11 February 2017
10 February 2017
In Many Ways Today Was A Beginning And A One Third Of The Way Point.
Today my friend C.H. and I drove in my car from Tulsa to Oklahoma City to catch a train to Fort Worth the next day. Normal day at work. I have received previous supervisor approval to arrive and leave early in order to arrive in Oklahoma City with enough time to enjoy dinner and a good night's sleep.
work in progress SO this is gonna kinda be like a Quentin Tarantino movie and will be updated periodically BECAUSE
So much has transpired from 28 January 2017 until 29 march and now that I am only now formally composing my story re all of the long strange trip it's been.
work in progress SO this is gonna kinda be like a Quentin Tarantino movie and will be updated periodically BECAUSE
So much has transpired from 28 January 2017 until 29 march and now that I am only now formally composing my story re all of the long strange trip it's been.
09 February 2017
Beyond My Alcoholism. Parent Alienation Syndrome.
November/December 2008 Issue
Parental Alienation Syndrome — The Parent/Child Disconnect
By Amy J. L. Baker, PhD
Social Work Today
Vol. 8 No. 6 P. 26
PARENT ALIENATION SYNDROME ARTICLE LINKBy Amy J. L. Baker, PhD
Social Work Today
Vol. 8 No. 6 P. 26
Eight Manifestations of Parental Alienation Syndrome
1. A Campaign of Denigration
Alienated children are consumed with hatred of the targeted parent. They deny any positive past experiences and reject all contact and communication. Parents who were once loved and valued seemingly overnight become hated and feared.
Alienated children are consumed with hatred of the targeted parent. They deny any positive past experiences and reject all contact and communication. Parents who were once loved and valued seemingly overnight become hated and feared.
2. Weak, Frivolous, and Absurd Rationalizations
When alienated children are questioned about the reasons for their intense hostility toward the targeted parent, the explanations offered are not of the magnitude that typically would lead a child to reject a parent. These children may complain about the parent’s eating habits, food preparation, or appearance. They may also make wild accusations that could not possibly be true.
When alienated children are questioned about the reasons for their intense hostility toward the targeted parent, the explanations offered are not of the magnitude that typically would lead a child to reject a parent. These children may complain about the parent’s eating habits, food preparation, or appearance. They may also make wild accusations that could not possibly be true.
3. Lack of Ambivalence About the Alienating Parent
Alienated children exhibit a lack of ambivalence about the alienating parent, demonstrating an automatic, reflexive, idealized support. That parent is perceived as perfect, while the other is perceived as wholly flawed. If an alienated child is asked to identify just one negative aspect of the alienating parent, he or she will probably draw a complete blank. This presentation is in contrast to the fact that most children have mixed feelings about even the best of parents and can usually talk about each parent as having both good and bad qualities.
Alienated children exhibit a lack of ambivalence about the alienating parent, demonstrating an automatic, reflexive, idealized support. That parent is perceived as perfect, while the other is perceived as wholly flawed. If an alienated child is asked to identify just one negative aspect of the alienating parent, he or she will probably draw a complete blank. This presentation is in contrast to the fact that most children have mixed feelings about even the best of parents and can usually talk about each parent as having both good and bad qualities.
4. The “Independent Thinker” Phenomenon
Even though alienated children appear to be unduly influenced by the alienating parent, they will adamantly insist that the decision to reject the targeted parent is theirs alone. They deny that their feelings about the targeted parent are in any way influenced by the alienating parent and often invoke the concept of free will to describe their decision.
Even though alienated children appear to be unduly influenced by the alienating parent, they will adamantly insist that the decision to reject the targeted parent is theirs alone. They deny that their feelings about the targeted parent are in any way influenced by the alienating parent and often invoke the concept of free will to describe their decision.
5. Absence of Guilt About the Treatment of the Targeted Parent
Alienated children typically appear rude, ungrateful, spiteful, and cold toward the targeted parent, and they appear to be impervious to feelings of guilt about their harsh treatment. Gratitude for gifts, favors, or child support provided by the targeted parent is nonexistent. Children with parental alienation syndrome will try to get whatever they can from that parent, declaring that it is owed to them.
Alienated children typically appear rude, ungrateful, spiteful, and cold toward the targeted parent, and they appear to be impervious to feelings of guilt about their harsh treatment. Gratitude for gifts, favors, or child support provided by the targeted parent is nonexistent. Children with parental alienation syndrome will try to get whatever they can from that parent, declaring that it is owed to them.
6. Reflexive Support for the Alienating Parent in Parental Conflict
Intact families, as well as recently separated and long-divorced couples, will have occasion for disagreement and conflict. In all cases, the alienated child will side with the alienating parent, regardless of how absurd or baseless that parent’s position may be. There is no willingness or attempt to be impartial when faced with interparental conflicts. Children with parental alienation syndrome have no interest in hearing the targeted parent’s point of view. Nothing the targeted parent could do or say makes any difference to these children.
Intact families, as well as recently separated and long-divorced couples, will have occasion for disagreement and conflict. In all cases, the alienated child will side with the alienating parent, regardless of how absurd or baseless that parent’s position may be. There is no willingness or attempt to be impartial when faced with interparental conflicts. Children with parental alienation syndrome have no interest in hearing the targeted parent’s point of view. Nothing the targeted parent could do or say makes any difference to these children.
7. Presence of Borrowed Scenarios
Alienated children often make accusations toward the targeted parent that utilize phrases and ideas adopted from the alienating parent. Indications that a scenario is borrowed include the use of words or ideas that the child does not appear to understand, speaking in a scripted or robotic fashion, as well as making accusations that cannot be supported with detail.
Alienated children often make accusations toward the targeted parent that utilize phrases and ideas adopted from the alienating parent. Indications that a scenario is borrowed include the use of words or ideas that the child does not appear to understand, speaking in a scripted or robotic fashion, as well as making accusations that cannot be supported with detail.
8. Rejection of Extended Family
Finally, the hatred of the targeted parent spreads to his or her extended family. Not only is the targeted parent denigrated, despised, and avoided but so are his or her extended family. Formerly beloved grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins are suddenly and completely avoided and rejected.
Finally, the hatred of the targeted parent spreads to his or her extended family. Not only is the targeted parent denigrated, despised, and avoided but so are his or her extended family. Formerly beloved grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins are suddenly and completely avoided and rejected.
06 February 2017
Two years. Six Month's Sober. We Must Change Societies Perception And Belief About Us Once We Are Sober.
Yes sir and ma'am today mark's my second year, six month of sobriety.
Most folk's who know that I am now sober never ask how my sobriety is going? There is some kind of societal thing, thought, or whatever which keeps them from asking. Maybe it's what the programs teach. I don''t know since I am one of those alcoholic's who were simply tired of praying to God Almighty to help Me get sober. Well yah once I stopped buying the poison yes I quit drinking and then He helped little ol'me. No magical wrecks or breakdown's of my car ever happened while I was driving sober to the liquor store in order to go home and poison myself near to death.
Do I struggle about having another drink? Not since about month two have I thought about honestly taking a drink of alcohol. I have consumed my life's share of the poison and I will take a pass on ever anymore consumption. All'you'all can split up the rest of my share and consume it for yourself.
I am so absolutely, awesomely, like totally ecstatic to be free that there is nothing that will ever lead me back to drinking.
I remained sober, when 77 days into sobriety dad died alone as he chose from cancer in Frisco, Texas; and then 43 day's later mom died from cancer also. Alcoholism is a disease just like diabetes, Alzheimer's and cancer. After remaining sober thru that, and maintaining my university 3.7 G.P.A. BY GOD I CAN AND WILL REMAIN SOBER THROUGH EVERYTHING ELSE IN LIFE BY GOD.
I will die sober. Can you honestly say you know anything of your death already like I do?
Well by God, isn't it about time for you to begin knowing how you will die.
We do not know whence the time of our death commences almost always.
Prepare ye the way of the Lord.
By God I am going to be sober when I die.
And chuckle inside when I hear those kind and thoughtful statements of:
"I am glad you are still sober", or so or some spin like that.
And then there are those who know I am sober, yet afraid either because of something personal, or some societal "norm" of reaction to those of use who delightfully remain sober alcoholics; and never ask.
I don't think outside of those of us who remain delightfully sober alcoholics, anybody else really understand how happy we are.
With societal suppression of alcoholic's first when we are practicing our poisoning, and then with our true convicted cessation, you'all "sober" people out there need to change how you think also about alcoholism just like I have honestly and truly explored.
I cannot really even begin to tell you how much I am ecstatically sober.
You are just going to have to join me in order to find out how much fun sobriety really and honestly can be once you begin.
For those of you who have never taken a drink of alcohol, awesome. Continue.
For those of you who have quit; CONGRATULATIONS. KEEP IT UP AND BE HAPPY.
For those of you who have never consumed alcohol;
I am so awesomely happy that you will never understand the entrapment of alcohol addiction.
Thank God.
Most folk's who know that I am now sober never ask how my sobriety is going? There is some kind of societal thing, thought, or whatever which keeps them from asking. Maybe it's what the programs teach. I don''t know since I am one of those alcoholic's who were simply tired of praying to God Almighty to help Me get sober. Well yah once I stopped buying the poison yes I quit drinking and then He helped little ol'me. No magical wrecks or breakdown's of my car ever happened while I was driving sober to the liquor store in order to go home and poison myself near to death.
Do I struggle about having another drink? Not since about month two have I thought about honestly taking a drink of alcohol. I have consumed my life's share of the poison and I will take a pass on ever anymore consumption. All'you'all can split up the rest of my share and consume it for yourself.
I am so absolutely, awesomely, like totally ecstatic to be free that there is nothing that will ever lead me back to drinking.
I remained sober, when 77 days into sobriety dad died alone as he chose from cancer in Frisco, Texas; and then 43 day's later mom died from cancer also. Alcoholism is a disease just like diabetes, Alzheimer's and cancer. After remaining sober thru that, and maintaining my university 3.7 G.P.A. BY GOD I CAN AND WILL REMAIN SOBER THROUGH EVERYTHING ELSE IN LIFE BY GOD.
I will die sober. Can you honestly say you know anything of your death already like I do?
Well by God, isn't it about time for you to begin knowing how you will die.
We do not know whence the time of our death commences almost always.
Prepare ye the way of the Lord.
By God I am going to be sober when I die.
And chuckle inside when I hear those kind and thoughtful statements of:
"I am glad you are still sober", or so or some spin like that.
And then there are those who know I am sober, yet afraid either because of something personal, or some societal "norm" of reaction to those of use who delightfully remain sober alcoholics; and never ask.
I don't think outside of those of us who remain delightfully sober alcoholics, anybody else really understand how happy we are.
With societal suppression of alcoholic's first when we are practicing our poisoning, and then with our true convicted cessation, you'all "sober" people out there need to change how you think also about alcoholism just like I have honestly and truly explored.
I cannot really even begin to tell you how much I am ecstatically sober.
You are just going to have to join me in order to find out how much fun sobriety really and honestly can be once you begin.
For those of you who have never taken a drink of alcohol, awesome. Continue.
For those of you who have quit; CONGRATULATIONS. KEEP IT UP AND BE HAPPY.
For those of you who have never consumed alcohol;
I am so awesomely happy that you will never understand the entrapment of alcohol addiction.
Thank God.
31 January 2017
Maybe I Will Walk The PCT. If I Do Not Try Then I Have Failed Before I Began.
Check out my other blog associated with my name and you will read about my plans for walking the PCT.
If I succeed then I succeed.
If I try and fail then I will have tried.
If I never try then I will have fail without trying.
Once again it comes down to money. Ugh.
If I succeed then I succeed.
If I try and fail then I will have tried.
If I never try then I will have fail without trying.
Once again it comes down to money. Ugh.
23 January 2017
Ya Know? Sometimes What People Say Is Nothing But Just Plum Flum-diddle.
I write this here because I quit without any group of any kind.
This is my dealing with it.
Please read at your own risk.
23 January 1995 is a day which I remember the same as my daughter's Godfather, my ex-sister-in-law, and my ex-mom-in-law were told by my ex-wife. If what they were told is the same as what happened, then anything else is just plum flum-diddle.
Truth is on this day around ten P.M. back in 1995 my first ex-wife and I were having a verbal argument. She was sitting on our couch. I stood up in front of her, placed a hand on either shoulder, and did not allow her to stand up for less than a minute. Wrong yes. Oh yes wrong. Unfortunately for me, my ex-wife now tells that story as I was choking her with both of my hands around her throat. Her mom and sister told me she did not have any marks around her neck while she was telling them the next day about what had happened.
Yes I did not allow her to stand up by placing a hand on either of her shoulders as reported to three reliable people by my ex-wife. That which I did was never-the-less wrong.
This even was one of those "big events of regret" which aided my excuse making as I drown myself through the years with alcohol. I simply did not do what I am accused and I want there to be one statement of fact representing what happened on that day 23 January 1995.
This event has never been brought in any manner in any report in any court at any time by my ex-wife.
Oh Boy am I ever so grateful day by day by day for remaining sober.
Although I drank myself near to death; it actually does get easier for me because I am so ever grateful I broke free into sobriety.
I remain sober.
I will remain sober.
Period.
This is my dealing with it.
Please read at your own risk.
23 January 1995 is a day which I remember the same as my daughter's Godfather, my ex-sister-in-law, and my ex-mom-in-law were told by my ex-wife. If what they were told is the same as what happened, then anything else is just plum flum-diddle.
Truth is on this day around ten P.M. back in 1995 my first ex-wife and I were having a verbal argument. She was sitting on our couch. I stood up in front of her, placed a hand on either shoulder, and did not allow her to stand up for less than a minute. Wrong yes. Oh yes wrong. Unfortunately for me, my ex-wife now tells that story as I was choking her with both of my hands around her throat. Her mom and sister told me she did not have any marks around her neck while she was telling them the next day about what had happened.
Yes I did not allow her to stand up by placing a hand on either of her shoulders as reported to three reliable people by my ex-wife. That which I did was never-the-less wrong.
This even was one of those "big events of regret" which aided my excuse making as I drown myself through the years with alcohol. I simply did not do what I am accused and I want there to be one statement of fact representing what happened on that day 23 January 1995.
This event has never been brought in any manner in any report in any court at any time by my ex-wife.
Oh Boy am I ever so grateful day by day by day for remaining sober.
Although I drank myself near to death; it actually does get easier for me because I am so ever grateful I broke free into sobriety.
I remain sober.
I will remain sober.
Period.
21 January 2017
If It's Not One Thing, It's Always Been Another. Living.
2003 in Colorado Springs...
After having to file court documents for the ninth summer
in a row in order to exercise my daughter’s right for visitation with me, we
were able to go on the first of our three year’s in a row of visit’s in Colorado
Springs for my birthday.
After seventeen hour’s on three different bus’s we arrived
at Garden of the God’s campground and our camper-cabin I had pre-reserved three
weeks earlier. We settled in and went to
sleep exhausted around ten o’clock that night.
That night, our first night there and at about 02:00 in the
morning with both my daughter and I sound asleep; there was a pounding at our
cabin door. We were immediately awakened. My daughter was frightened. Immediately I arose, went to the door, and standing
there asked who was there? Immediately
the response was, “POLICE. I’m not kidding. Open the door now”.
My first thought was “what the Truck has my daughter’s mom
done now?” I immediately opened the cabin door. The officer asked if we were
from Oklahoma? I said yes. He replied that the police department had received a
phone call from Oklahoma which had reported that our cabin was producing METH.
I asked if he was kidding? He said no. I explained I was there with my daughter
for my birthday. He sniffed at our door
like a hound dog, then thanked us and left.
That’s just one of dozen’s and dozen's of things my ex-wife
has done over past nineteen years.
I may have been perfecting the practicing of my alcoholism
while we were married however, the action’s shown by her before, during and
after our marriage have Never been warranted. My first ex-wife told her
mom and sister years ago when she found out that I was re-marrying she was
going to continue making my and now also my new wife’s life a living hell. For
my second wife’s and my six-month wedding anniversary my second wife (at the
time) sought and received an emergency protective order from a Tulsa County
Court judge. My second wife, now second
ex-wife explained her leaving as being 75% because of my first ex-wife, and 25%
because of me. Yuppers. For my second
wife, life had become a living hell from which she chose to escape.
I am so much more than a sober alcoholic. I am
multi-textural. I am sober, hear me roar.
Not even the deep sorrows I feel from my daughter explaining to me during the Amtrak trip I shared with her 2010 to San Antonio, Texas, that she does not like me. She even shared with me again before our 8767 mile around the United States “to beat all our other trips”
Amtrak journey to 24 states in 2015, that she does not like me. Even her not liking me to the point of not loving me will I ever return to practicing alcoholism.
I enjoy train travel. I set a goal years ago, to take my daughter to all of the Amtrak states. That is also a part of who I am. I had to complete that goal of mine as much as I was allowed to.
I enjoy train travel. I set a goal years ago, to take my daughter to all of the Amtrak states. That is also a part of who I am. I had to complete that goal of mine as much as I was allowed to.
I guess she does not even love me now since I’ve received
no contact via mail, email, text, or phone call from her since August 2016.
Even through this deep emotion of my daughter’s
removal from me,
I will not Ever return to practicing alcoholism.
I am so much
more than my alcoholism.
I have always been so much more than any kind of alcoholic
practicing.
I am multi-textural.
One thing about me is that I am sober.
There
is so much more about me than my conquering my addiction.
I am a sober human
hear me roar;
about me there is so much more.
Gimme a chance.
You Never Know Just How Much You've Lost Until You Sober Up Realizing It's All Been Gone For Awhile.
I never knew how much I was loosing and lost until I sobered up.
Then what I thought I had was not.
Even for what I have lost I have now gained so much and will never return.
I am sober today now and always.
What has happened I can never change.
I will only remain sober and develop growth towards new experience's living sober.
Learning sober.
Thinking sober.
It is with sobriety that I shall continue to grow and live.
It is with return to alcohol that I will die.
I will die and I cannot change that.
I will control that I will die sober.
Amen.
Then what I thought I had was not.
Even for what I have lost I have now gained so much and will never return.
I am sober today now and always.
What has happened I can never change.
I will only remain sober and develop growth towards new experience's living sober.
Learning sober.
Thinking sober.
It is with sobriety that I shall continue to grow and live.
It is with return to alcohol that I will die.
I will die and I cannot change that.
I will control that I will die sober.
Amen.
06 January 2017
You Just Never Know Do You Now? It Is What It Is. She Dumped My Cats In The Countryside.
Twenty six years ago at the end of next month.
I was soon moving into a duplex with my fiance. It was eight month's before our wedding. We were joining our lives together. I moved my fifty and twenty-nine gallon fish tanks into our new home along with my two house-cats of several years named Smokey and Whisp.
Smokey was a stripped light multi-grey male and extremely smart.
Whisp was a dark grey stripped male and dumb as a box of rocks poor dear.
Both of them were also neutered.
About 7 April 1991, two months after we moved in together, I arrived home to find the back door to our home wide open. I entered our duplex to find that although things were thrown all around, there was nothing stolen or missing. Well, because of the back door being open I surmised my cat's had escaped. By the time the police had arrived I had already spoken to our duplex neighbors. We shared a common driveway and backyard. They told me only that they had seen a dark blue Dodge or Chevy van in our driveway and that maybe my fiance would know something more about the episode which had occurred. I asked my fiance. She said she knew nothing more. Our neighbor's Tim and Jill never spoke with my future and then wife again for the duration of the four years of our sharing opposite duplex sides.
Why do I share this you ask? Well during my prayers and meditation on Christmas Day I remembered October 2000 I was blessed with making peace with my ex-mother-in-law and my ex-sister-in-law. It was during our conversation that day they shared with me about the "burglary" that day. They shared it was my then fiance (now ex-wife), (their sister and daughter,) who along with her best-friend using her husband's dark blue van, had faked the break-in, left the door open and taken my cat's Smokey and Whisp out into the country where they were dumped roadside.
After my conversation with my two ex-in-laws, I located our former neighbor's, Tim and Jill, through the help of his former employer, a Tulsa T.V. news station. They confirmed what my ex-mom-in-law and ex-sister-in-law had shared.
I called my ex-mom-in-law this most recent Christmas 25 Dec., 2016. We spoke for over an hour. She apologized again for knowing about the "burglary" before I married her daughter, and for other things. I apologized for my wrongs against her also. Good peace. She congratulates me for my sobriety each time we speak...about four to six times a month. She and I spoke the day my mom died. Good peace is.
Why do I write this you ask? The same trait which helps me successfully play trivia games, also "helps" me remember the minutiae I've experienced while living my life. So by buggers I still cannot believe this actually happened to me; and that's why I just gotta write it down.
I was soon moving into a duplex with my fiance. It was eight month's before our wedding. We were joining our lives together. I moved my fifty and twenty-nine gallon fish tanks into our new home along with my two house-cats of several years named Smokey and Whisp.
Smokey was a stripped light multi-grey male and extremely smart.
Whisp was a dark grey stripped male and dumb as a box of rocks poor dear.
Both of them were also neutered.
About 7 April 1991, two months after we moved in together, I arrived home to find the back door to our home wide open. I entered our duplex to find that although things were thrown all around, there was nothing stolen or missing. Well, because of the back door being open I surmised my cat's had escaped. By the time the police had arrived I had already spoken to our duplex neighbors. We shared a common driveway and backyard. They told me only that they had seen a dark blue Dodge or Chevy van in our driveway and that maybe my fiance would know something more about the episode which had occurred. I asked my fiance. She said she knew nothing more. Our neighbor's Tim and Jill never spoke with my future and then wife again for the duration of the four years of our sharing opposite duplex sides.
Why do I share this you ask? Well during my prayers and meditation on Christmas Day I remembered October 2000 I was blessed with making peace with my ex-mother-in-law and my ex-sister-in-law. It was during our conversation that day they shared with me about the "burglary" that day. They shared it was my then fiance (now ex-wife), (their sister and daughter,) who along with her best-friend using her husband's dark blue van, had faked the break-in, left the door open and taken my cat's Smokey and Whisp out into the country where they were dumped roadside.
After my conversation with my two ex-in-laws, I located our former neighbor's, Tim and Jill, through the help of his former employer, a Tulsa T.V. news station. They confirmed what my ex-mom-in-law and ex-sister-in-law had shared.
I called my ex-mom-in-law this most recent Christmas 25 Dec., 2016. We spoke for over an hour. She apologized again for knowing about the "burglary" before I married her daughter, and for other things. I apologized for my wrongs against her also. Good peace. She congratulates me for my sobriety each time we speak...about four to six times a month. She and I spoke the day my mom died. Good peace is.
Why do I write this you ask? The same trait which helps me successfully play trivia games, also "helps" me remember the minutiae I've experienced while living my life. So by buggers I still cannot believe this actually happened to me; and that's why I just gotta write it down.
It's Been Awhile...
Yuppers. It has been awhile since I posted here. Today is my two year, five month sober anniversary Thank God. No stays. Even walked through a liquor isle in a large East Lansing everything store...I was looking for non-alcoholic ginger beer...that's where they keep the stuff. I always trippple check the label to trippple make sure it's non-alcoholic ginger beer.
Sobriety keeps getting easier as I keep getting further away from my last drink of alcohol. I am still the same good person. I am still all the best, without the bull-shoot personality disorder of a practicing alcoholic. Oh my sorrow that my daughter remains withdrawn and non-communicative from me now four and a half month's. I pray for her.
Talk about learning new thinking. Having to deal with sorrow sober certainly does enlighten sobriety's progression of learning new thought processes.
I love learning new things and just as much as it is what it is...it also is an awesome new learning process. She and I are still alive, so there is still time also for mending and building our relationship.
It is what it is.
I am two years and five month's sober today.
That's all that matters.
Sobriety is all that matter's first.
I am enjoying two years and five month's sober today.
Sobriety keeps getting easier as I keep getting further away from my last drink of alcohol. I am still the same good person. I am still all the best, without the bull-shoot personality disorder of a practicing alcoholic. Oh my sorrow that my daughter remains withdrawn and non-communicative from me now four and a half month's. I pray for her.
Talk about learning new thinking. Having to deal with sorrow sober certainly does enlighten sobriety's progression of learning new thought processes.
I love learning new things and just as much as it is what it is...it also is an awesome new learning process. She and I are still alive, so there is still time also for mending and building our relationship.
It is what it is.
I am two years and five month's sober today.
That's all that matters.
Sobriety is all that matter's first.
I am enjoying two years and five month's sober today.
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