I Could Go East. I Could Go West. It Was All Up For Me To Decide.

Bob Seger. Awesome musician whose music resonates within me. Sobering up is so much just like the undertone of the song "Roll Me Away." "It was all up for me to decide."

"I too am lost, I feel double-crossed

and I'm sick of what's wrong and what's right..."

The hawk flying in the sky for me was God circling overhead with His protection; ready to throw me the rope of salvation from my addiction once I was ready and willing to reach up and grab it, and climb into His Arms.

"Stood alone on a mountain top,

starin' out at the Great Divide

I could go east, I could go west,

it was all up to me to decide

Just then I saw a young hawk flyin'

and my soul began to rise

And pretty soon

My heart was singin'

Roll, roll me away,

I'm gonna roll me away tonight

Gotta keep rollin, gotta keep ridin',

keep searchin' till I find what's right

And as the sunset faded

I spoke to the faintest first starlight

And I said next time

Next time

[I'll] get it right..."

And I am telling you sobriety is definitely doing right by life, and by God. 

"[I] rolled across the high plains

Deep into the mountains

Felt so good to me

Finally feelin' free..."

Sobriety is for me...

"I spoke to the faintest first starlight,

And I said [to God this] time,

[This] time,

[I'll] get it right!!!

Stay sober. 

Stay vigilant. 

Your adversary roars like a lion. 

You can remain free. 

Stay sober. 

Stay vigilant. 

This time you'll get it right.

Amen.

Like Awesome Totally. Yuppers. Free:^)

Oh sure every now and again, like maybe every other week or three I'll think some brief thought about alcohol and then it's over. That's what I wanted to share in this post. I just won't ever drink ethanol again. Don't need it. Don't want it. Haven't had to over-ride an urge to purchase alcohol since about my third month sober way on back at the end of 2014. I've reshaped my thinking, and continually codify my desire to never consume an intoxicating beverage again. Life is just too much fun without it; and learning to overcome and conquer any want or need for alcohol has been an awesome liberation. A deep profound lesson in just what I can and may accomplish regardless the perceived difficulties.

There you go. Take care of yourselves. Remain vigilant. Remain sober. T.T.F.N:^)

PRAYING UNCEASINGLY...

"If we pray without ceasing, we shall not want matter for thanksgiving in everything..."
"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ..."

Personally I alway try to be praying as taught by St. Paul. This is a difficult task indeed with the world interfering. It is a good thing when we are able to focus as much attention to our Greater Being, The One God The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Yes I'm old school about the Holy Ghost and Holy Spirit thing. It's the same thing and whether I call it one thing or the other it matters not for salvation. So I try and pray unceasingly.
I know from my prayers about my own death that I am able to know in at least one part of how I will die. I will die sober. After that it is known but only to God Himself how I will die; but I am 100% confident I will indeed die sober.
___________________________________________________________________________

I posted the following on a social media site to no comment and not a single "like". What I said means deeply within myself tremendous amounts of personal revelation so I post it here too. I have posted this also on my P.C.T. blog, Staggering Sober On The Pacific Crest Trail blogspot. My first cross-linking of these blogspots:^)

While I sat in this room of dreams, hand carved, with its nooks and crannies and soot from 1000 years ago, I pondered what I will leave behind. What kind of mark I will have made no matter how temporary my existence. My climb required a 20 foot ladder and allowed me this presence of 1000 years to rest upon my mind and ponder. What will I fill the nooks and crannies of my existence with, which will disappear when I do? 
Today is when we all have to shape what will be each our own legacy. Peace on this walk my friends. You can make it an awesome walk indeed.

Thank God Almighty I am Sober At Last Indeed. Make your walk sober too if you even slightly believe you might need to walk sober. Your inner-self indded could be correct. Peace.

Walking Forward

Hurray!
Another day after another day after..........
Well you know, sober. I have been micromanaging my Pacific Crest Trail thru-hike plans and have just plain old forgotten to write anything here in awhile. My bad. Sorry.
Honest to by and for God I just don't ever want to drink again. No proclivities. No desires. When I quit, I quit.  I spent way too many of my last couple of years praying God's assistance in quitting. Now that I have I cannot go back. It is just not who or part of me anymore Thank God.

I have not officially launched my hiker StaggeringSoberOnThePacificCrestTrail.blogspot.com yet so I hope my three or four regular readers will give me honest feedback about my trail plans on here first and soon.

This is the link to my PCT Planner which details my five month plans for this adventure.
http://www.pctplanner.com/v.php?g=pMRZKyKybQBz

This is the link to my pack, what it contains, and what each weight and the cumulative weights are.
https://lighterpack.com/r/8y5wqz

I look forward to celebrating my third year of sobriety on-trail, as well as my 56th birthday. Hopefully you will not only follow along as I walk, but also share the link with others.

Thanking God every minute,
Every day that I am sober.

Remember, you have no idea at all what those around you are going through. Be kind.

Two Years. And Two Years, Two Months, Two Weeks, Two Days Sober Today. I Don't Know How I Initially Did It.

     Two years ago, (my two month, two week, two day anniversary of sobriety) my dad died in Frisco, Texas alone in a hospice as he had chosen. Dad had made no provisions for me to visit while he was dying.  I was able to visit him ten days before he died during the same weekend I took my daughter to the University of Oklahoma v. texas Red River Rivalry where she helped carry the gigantic Oklahoma flag onto texas soil in the stadium.
We visited dad the Friday before the Saturday game. We checked into our hotel about four thirty and then took a cab to his hotel.  We arrived around five and stayed until almost nine, when dad was dozing from cancer and pain management, and my daughter's and my blood sugar was getting really low.  
During our visit dad begged my forgiveness which I readily gave. He begged God's forgiveness which I readily lead him to the path's entrance. My daughter found on her phone Bach and Beethoven music and played them for dad. Leaving dad that evening after visiting and praying, I looked back at him as I turned to leave, and I then dropped back down to him and we cried together hugging. I told him, "Peace. It's all good." Then I turned and my daughter and I left and returned to our hotel.

I wanted twice (2014-2015) to win the annual Oklahoma State University-Tulsa Creative Writing Contest, with the poems I have placed he on my blog. This poem came to me each night for weeks as I began trying to fall asleep. I composed it nightly, reciting each line to myself, until I thought it worthy of being written down.  Then I began with crafting it into what I believed to be a worthy and dramatic poem detailing what I had experienced and what I hoped to continue experiencing.
My entry was not accepted:(
As I better understand the failure (75%+/-) to success (25%+/-) rate of sobering up, I now believe my poem was too dark, and I was too ripe for failure in my sobering up.  I am a twenty-five percenter my friends.

Here are both versions. My raw entry into the poetry contest of 2014; and my revised elongated 2015 entry. Bummer that neither of them even earned an honorable mention.  My hopes upon entry were that they would assist others in finding their Strength In The Forage Of Sobriety.
My 2014 entry is the first poem below.  For 2015 I wrote a second part, and it is also below.  In other words, pardon my being verbose; both are below combined as I entered my poem for my second and last Oklahoma State University-Tulsa Creative Writing Contest I entered.

Nobody ever leaves comments. For my poem I hope you will leave comments. You have the option of entering your comments anonymously, and I hope you do.
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 August 2014

Challenges

I’ve always wanted to win the lottery.

I quit drinking ten days before this semester began;

The headaches were almost going away by then:

But the months of fitful sleepless nights had only just begun;

While classes, and study, and assignments and tests continued,

My courage, resolve, and determination continued to increase.

I’ve always wanted to win the lottery.

Admitted to a hospital two months before semester began,

Dad was diagnosed with inoperable cancer.

My daughter and I visited him in Dallas mid-semester.

We all brought ourselves to the terms; “Peace. It’s all good.”

Ten days later dad died alone in a hospice bed.

I’ve always wanted to win the lottery.

Ironic how sharing and bringing peace to my Dad’s death process

Brings my daughter and me closer together; She is proud of me again.

She shared after our visit with dad that she told her Grandpa two weeks before

That I was sober and how he replied; “I glad he’s finally gotten his life in order.”

Vitality deep within my being stirs my courage with vigor for living.

I’ve always wanted to win the lottery.

Six months of chemotherapy mom had endured by semester’s start.

Incrementally affected week by week by then, yet with courage unwavering.

She reinvigorated me towards my degree, unknowing of my conflict.

Mom’s positive inspiration and brightness always shining while she battles cancer

Is a continuing light for me; meanwhile her war is becoming one of slow attrition.

I’ve always wanted to win the lottery.

Slowly and steadily I climbed up and on through this semester,

Perseverance rewarding me daily in conquering all there is ahead.

Progressively I appreciate more about not only my life

But those lives around me without any alcohol induced haze.

Ironically this semester has been one of rewards enjoyed and challenges mastered

I believe with graduation I will have finally won the lottery.

Epilogue

Graduation Day 2015

I’ve Always Wanted to Win the Lottery

Ere too, I’ve always wanted to earn my college education.

This poem begun one year ago needed something more.

So I searched into my heart and mind and very being

And saw the victories and joys I’ve embraced this past year.

I realize just how far I’ve advanced from where I had begun,

Knowing that every path in life won’t be easy, it just is what it is.

I’ve always wanted to earn my college education.

From what I’ve sacrificed since beginning my college career

I have grown in depth one thousand times the distance to the sun.

Clearly now I see all of what there is for me to be;

Comfortable with whom I am and what is there for me.  

I look out through the windows of possibilities and see my happiness.

I’ve always wanted to earn my college education.

Mom died peacefully Friday of dead week fall 2014; finals loomed ahead.

School my singular other focus was both a distraction and distracted.

I proceeded forward towards the completion of the goals I set out to accomplish;

There was none other path but completion, and like sobriety I persevered.

Nothing is impossible I know now.  I just begin and do the task.

I’ve always wanted to earn my college education.

This my last semester before graduation

Has found me rising above and looking forward with expectation

To where now I continue life from sobriety and perseverance

I am victorious and also in control of my destiny now.

It’s not been easy however, nothing of worth ever is.

I’ve always wanted to earn my college education.

Mom and dad will be watching from heaven’s gate,

My daughter will be in the sea of visitors

Along with friends and my professors too

To witness my great victories,

As I take my diploma which I’ve earned.

I’ve earned my university degree.

Now that I’ve accomplished that

The walk for my diploma is another victory for me.

I have attained the best of life; my university degree. 

I’ve earned my university degree.

Oh, yes.

I’ve earned my university degree.

Not all of this entire journey has been easy.

My sole and only goal since beginning college studies

Has been to learn and earn the best possible grades.

I graduate with a 3.7 G.P.A.

And

I have won the best of life’s lotteries; I will have earned my college degree.

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Well?  Please leave a comment as to what you think of my poem?

Strength.

Blessed everyday, feeling stronger everyday, and still amazed everyday. Amazed at the continued blessings of my sobriety. Amazed how others struggle with their addiction. Why are the odds so poor for conquering sobriety? Why is changing how the brain thinks about life and maintenance of sobriety so difficult for over 70% of the addicted? My wish is discovery of how to instill dedication and exclusivity living sober. How has what I've done and how I maintain sobriety been successful while many of those I know who have tried living sober, then fail in their attempts of successfully living life free from their addictions.
Being constantly vigilant on my road of sobriety includes reminding myself I am always capable of failing my life of sobriety, keeps me constantly living my life praising God constantly that I am sober but by His Grace.
I may be free, thank God Almighty, I am free and sober;
However;
I am sad that others who know they need their freedom,
Languish in their slavery of intoxication.
I thank God Almighty, I am free and sober,
Always praying that others will follow.

Quit Is Quit.

Quit is quit and almost is not quite quit. 

Resources abound to help you. 

First step is quit. 

I love you my friends.

Death as an alcoholic does not become you;

 Life and living life does. 

No Shit quit. I love you my friends. 

I don't want you to die this way.

Ima Soberalcoholic, come and be one too.

The View Is So Much Better

While visiting Bandelier National Monument last month 
I took a solo walk for an hour
down the pathway 
and climbed some ladders up into caves 
carved by Ancient Puebloans 800+years ago.  
My inner prayer had been in overdrive all day.

My inner peace building as I walked toward the reward I knew lay ahead.

That reward was being there to climb into the caves 
and enjoy the moment, every moment as they happened.

I prayed while in those caves.

I looked out upon a beautiful scene.

It was a scene unchanged much

relative to change happening

in a timespan of human life

verses change happening to rocks.

I was at peace with so much.

I realized I was then at peace with my parent's deaths:

My offences to those who are and those who were my friends:

My offences to my family:

My offences to my child; well more at peace with that one anyway.

Timeless is nothing.

Those who carved the cave died.

Time always marches on.

I am so forever grateful that Ima Soberalcoholic.

The view is so much better from here.

Forever.

So much better indeed.

Oy vey.

Oy vey I'm telling you what...I really don't think about alcohol as in to drink or consume it any more period.  Drawn or tempted to absolutely not. I've had my share from the world's supply of ethanol. As in not have I wanted to drink alcohol since 6 August 2014. I am as Chicago sings Feeling Stronger Everyday and cannot think of more to say about my alcoholism other than to declare:

 I am...=>  =>  =>Feeling Stronger Everyday

Always=> Feeling Stronger Everyday




                                                                              ALWAYS.

Alcohol in Employment. God's Mercy.

Every job that I've ever worked there were those who all identified as alcoholics, those who "drank responsibly", and those who did not drink.

While working as a tech in an ICU I witnessed many over the eight years I worked in that hospital come in hungover, and or had been drinking.  I was working the nightshift one time when towards 06:00 and less than an hour until their shift began three of the five scheduled ICU nurses and the morning tech called in sick. Everybody in the unit knew the party had happened as we were all invited.
Only one nurse showed up still up from drinking alcohol all night.  She arrived and went into an empty patient room where she hung a 1000 ml bag of D/50/water. Dextrose and water to rehydrate herself. She then began her shift as though everything was normal.
The nursing supervisors and administration knew she had done this and yet because the hospital was short staffed, no form of punishment was administered, and she worked her eight hour shift.
This event happened thirty years ago.
This event or one like it still happens I am reasonably confident of.

Being reasonably sure of the practicing alcoholics with whom I've shared time with once a practicing, now a sober alcoholic; I am continuously saddened when now I know of practicing alcoholics who have admitted to me that they still are out of control with their drinking, and are still consuming alcohol.
---------------------------------------
---------------------------------------
Never to judge as that is for God.
Always pray for their release.
Always pray for their freedom.
Freedom to own their lives again.

On bended knee I always pray,
Oh God, please be merciful to me.

On bended knee I always pray,
Oh God, you have been merciful to me.
Sober I am finally free.
Oh God, you are merciful to me.

Love Others First.

Live to love others first.
From in this action comes satisfaction that the love we show thru actions deeds and words will fill our deepest inner being with deeper love.
From in this action also comes greater acceptance of our living experience living and loving ourselves also.
----------------------
Everyday sober is an infinitely awesome experience.
---------------------
A good friend whom I've known since 1979, picked me up and took me for dinner last week.  I told him of the assaults upon me years ago before we met. (He witnessed the last one; which was perpetrated by a now Dallas Vet.) He was floored by what I said and remained silent for sometime before we resumed conversing, and about something else. I felt liberated in the security with which I felt in sharing with my friend of 37 years.
--------------------
Thank God Almighty I Am Sober.
I Am Sober Indeed And Feeling Stronger Everyday.

It's Been Awhile. All's Good. Just Living Life.

These past weeks since last I blogged have been great for me.  Some of the things I've enjoyed include making a connection with the land, sights, people, and history of New Mexico, I have been learning from alcoholics and reflecting how I acted once those ways.  I must say enjoying six days staying with my friend north of Taos N.M.  The vast sights of mountains, prairie, valleys, and endless sky was relaxing and beautiful.

One work acquaintance who has admitted to me that they drink too much and cannot quit, and whose partner has told them they drink too much; now turns their internal anger upon me.  When I was drinking I use to do that too sometimes.  I am now aware and continuously work to never commit that kind of meanness ever again.
One friend thought they were "sneaking" their consumption of alcohol while I was visiting.  There's no hiding from me what once I thought I was hiding from others.  And my sense of smell has always been sensitive and now is every bit as sensitive as ever; so I was not wrong in what I smelled.

Both of these encounters with people I know are practicing alcoholics were an entire education unto themselves.  I painfully saw myself yesterday which I denied while I practiced as an alcoholic; while now today strengthening minute by minute minute my resolve to ever remain a sober alcoholic.
I am so resolved to remain sober.
I have forever drank my totality from my share of the world's supply of alcohol.
I am so eternally grateful
That
Two
Years
And
Two
Weeks
Ago
Tonight
I drank my last drink of alcohol.

I am Free.  I am Free at last.  I am sober.

Profound Impact. Valid & Invalid- Reasons v. Excuses. It Is What It Is.

Should've.
Would've.
Could've.

I should have stopped drinking sooner than I did.  I couldn't.  I didn't.  I didn't until I had really hit what for me was the bottom.  I couldn't take it anymore.  I didn't have a valid reason, only invalid reason's to continue drinking.  I stopped drinking alcohol once I accepted that my excuses for consuming alcohol had no valid reason anymore.  My life was a walk in hell which I ceased walking through when I ceased drinking.  Profound impacts happened in my life for which I had no blame nor fault, such as the two assaults against me during my youth: by an adult relative, and a dentist while I was under gas.  Being raised in an environment in which I did not feel safe enough to share with my father or mother did not help.  Being five years old and then eight and from a home environment where obedience was best, I carried with me the profound impact, both valid and invalid with reason and excuse for my later repression and drinking.

******(For me finally releasing my feelings of guilt re: my assaults is Awesome.  It is a release for me that I was not responsible for at least these actions against me in my life that is immeasurable.  Accountability for what I am responsible for is right.  Release from the wrongful actions placed upon me by others is liberating.  Acceptance of my wrongs done to others and myself is liberating also.  Accepting what I cannot change and what I can has been liberating for me at so many different personal levels.  I feel "safe" making this declaration here as I am sort of anonymous and this is my forum and I am legally accountable for the content here.  It is what it is.)******(A socially upline friend of mine spoke publicly of his assault by a male relative at the Oklahoma Responsible Father Initiative Conference several years ago and I envisioned a day when I could do so also.  Here I am doing so now.  And yet the little boy in me is still afraid.   It is what it is.  I walk on now with my head held high.  I am victorious.  I am sober.)******

And too every failure, feeling of failure, feelings of inferiority, reinforced by P.E. teachers, school nurses, teachers, and bullies (until H.S. began) at school.  I had no feeling of safety while young; the cradle of alcohol felt soothing by my sophomore year of high school when I began developing liquor stores to personally purchase hard liquor from.  Dad knew of my purchases at the liquor stores when I placed wine in his wine rack.  The restaurant where my high school soccer coach was chef, I was allowed one beer an hour for a total of two beers as a high school junior and senior.
Throw in I didn't recognize I had P.T.S.D. from eight years of working as an I.C.U. Tech.  Not having insurance nor sick or vacation time when I injured my back (while a waiter) ten years ago and suffered nerve pain, had the profound impact, both valid and invalid with the reasons and excuses needed by me to continue my excessive drinking.  My drinking became its own profound impact with its own valid and invalid reasons and excuses.
My ex-mother-in-law apologised to me last month for the umpteenth time in years; for her daughter causing parent-alienation syndrome (click=>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parental_alienation_syndrome) since 1998 (Her daughter, my ex-wife, hasn't spoken to her mother in almost a decade.)  My alcoholism did have profound impact upon my relationship with my child, although I do not know what nor how as of yet.  My child is yet to want and begin any open dialogue or begin any relationship building.  I pray I will live long enough to enjoy the experience.
I await the building time prayerfully optimistic.
My priest councils me that the relationship building will take time.
My child's time.
Alas.
I should have stopped drinking sooner.
I couldn't.
I didn't.
I didn't until I really hit my bottom.
Until I couldn't take it anymore.
Until I didn't have a valid reason to continue drinking.
Until only invalid reason's remained why I should continue drinking.
Until I stopped drinking alcohol.
Until I accepted my excuses for consuming alcohol
had no valid reason anymore.

My life is an awesome walk now.
An awesome walk now.
Somethings I had, have had, now have, always have had control of.
Somethings I never did, never have, never would, never will.
For the things I had control over, I have control of,
I happily accept responsibility for.
For what is mine I accept ownership of.
Did.
Done.

For the things I never had control over,
"It is what it is."
For everything else,
"It is what it is."

I am victorious in life.
I am sober.
Did.
Done.

IMA SOBERALCOHOLIC'S THEOREM NUMBER ONE:

I am so lucky to have succeeded academically for my first three and a half years as a full-time university student.  I have mentioned in my previous blogs that this was also during my last three and a half years of binge drinking alcoholism.
The changing of my thinking through my academic pursuit before I quit drinking,
and the continued changing of my thinking post sobering up as I continued my academic pursuit;
I believe contributed significantly to my continued sobriety.
Sobering up addicts from any addiction must change their thinking.
Although I don't recommend full-time university studies for everybody,
I do recommend some mental challenges with sobriety's changes.
This is the reason I have created, Ima Soberalcoholic's Theorem Number One.

IMA SOBERALCOHOLIC'S THEOREM NUMBER ONE:
Mental calisthenics if you will; the one, two, three boost of creating new axon and dendritic connections needed for continuing sobriety.  I believe one necessary addition to cessation of the addictive property(s), is the necessity to create new pathways for which sober thought to travel through.  The best way to begin accomplishing this is for the initiant to sobriety to begin mental calisthenics.  Working math problems of varying degrees of difficulties, reading and then writing about the reading, and doing something as complex as shuffling cards and playing solitaire.  Bottom line is that the recovering mind of the addiction quitters, must change many different cerebral areas in their acquisition and accomplishment of tasks in new and variable ways.  This learning I believe will assist the recovering addict learn and succeed not only in their remaining sober, but also in new challenges as they present themselves through life.

The only way to begin working on I.S. THEOREM NUMBER ONE is:

Begin by quitting what you gotta quit.  

Quitting anyway you can is the best way to quit.

Get help to stay there.

Minute by minute.

Hour by hour.

Day by day.

Repeat for your lifetime.

T.T.F.N.

Ten Days Now Again.

So did you wonder if I had begun drinking again since I haven't posted anything in ten days and then opened with the title that I did?
No is the answer as I remain thankfully celebrating sobriety as a bride.  Awesome embracement of awesome sobriety.  Now that I did not write for ten days well, I've been applying for jobs as I am still woefully underemployed as a recent university graduate.
I've been working on another blog which I also own the dot com for also.  That blog is "What All Men Really Want", and will have advertisement.  This site will always remain advertisement free.  Helping others come to and remain sober is my one goal here on "Strength In The Forage Of Sobriety."

Two years and nineteen days sober today. Yes it's work, but anything worth having takes learning, relearning, time, and work.  I am sober. Yes Thank God Almighty I Am Sober At Last.  Please join me if'n you will.  It's the place to be.

I'll write more tomorrow.  I promise.
Peace and staying sober always.
Love,
Ima Soberalcoholic

Who Am I? What I Am. I Am More.

What I am.
I enjoy passenger railway travel.
I set a goal 16 years ago to visit every state; modifying that to include as many state capitols, including my child while they matured through schooling; taking them to 41/46 Amtrak states and 32 U.S. State capitols.
I've been to 47/50 states and 37 state capitols.
I have written poetry for years, and obviously I blog.
I enjoy hiking and keep plans for an eventual walk of the PCT.

Who am I?
I do volunteer work for the public schools.
I have my political thoughts.
I have protested courthouses for the loss of "Father's Rights" to anti-family court; and was a class action member suing my state in Federal Court.  We had 34/50 states being sued in Federal Court. They ruled you cannot sue "state entities." Oh well.
I garden organically.

What I am.
Lover of native artifacts and old industrial items.
Lover of animals however, meat is on my diet.
Lover of art through almost the full gamut.
Lover of all ranges of music and poetry.
Lover of life.
Lover of Christianity.
Lover of sobriety.

Who am I?
I am a sober alcoholic
However
That is only
ONE
Component of what I am.
Amongst
Many
Many
Many other things
I am also
A sober alcoholic.

Thank you for reading this blogger's blog.
I bid you always peace.
Until next time as always,
Love,
Ima Soberalcoholic

So Says Ima SoberAlcoholic!

Yes

---

Yes 

Thank God Almighty 

I Am Sober At Last 

To The Last 

Which Will Last 

Until My Last 

Day.

SO SAYS IMA SOBERALCOHOLIC

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I am still amazed at the number of drunk posts on social media.  I am also surprised by the numbers of people now willing to publicly post of their sobriety.  I am still hesitant to do so.  Maybe for my third anniversary 6 August 2017 while on the Pacific Crest Trail with my soberalcoholic friend, Grey Wolf.  That's my assigned name for him anyway.   We'll see how he likes it when he reads my blog lol:^O

I always private message congratulations to those who post of their anniversaries of my pride in their accomplishments.  Remember please and do the same when you see posts of sobriety.

Every little bit helps. Day by day.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

----------------------------------------------

Yes

---

Yes 

Thank God Almighty 

I Am Sober At Last 

To The Last 

Which Will Last 

Until My Last 

Day.

So says Ima Soberalcoholic!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another Chance

Isn't it about time 

you to give somebody you know 

who is sober now

And wasn't then

Another chance.

My Door Is Always Open For You. Come On In

My Door Is Always Open For You. Come On In

(An open letter to a relative)

I love you more than anybody I've ever known. Someday sooner than you'll realize those of us older than you will die.  You'll never know what awesomeness you'll never learn from us.  You won't know until then what you lost now.  Please make sure you understand  the ramifications of your withdrawal of contact from us now To better understand your loses later in life.  Love and like are inseparable as day and night.  I was wrong.  My door is always open for you.  Come on in.

If Words Are Weapons Then Addiction is Death And Sobriety Is Life.

Word's are weapons which can hurt.

Word's are kindness which can help.

Dependant upon delivery.

Addiction is death slowly, surely.

Oh sure we can handle our addiction.

We can handle our consumption.

Truth be told, I could not.

I developed a patina which lied to the wearer.

I lied to myself.  I lied to others.

Word's are truth with which we can reach for life.

Word's are weapons with which we can build ourselves strong again.

Word's we tell ourselves are the truth with which we will build ourselves strong again with.

Love yourself.

Love others.

Watch those word's of yours to keep

Yourself and other's strong.

Love yourself

Love others

With your words.

Want It. Feel It. Find It. Earn It. Own It. Sobriety

Read about Andrew Zimmern's transformation to sobriety=>Read And Watch Andrew Zimmern Talk About His Sobriety. 

Read about Stephen King's transformation, fear, and sobriety=>Stephen King The Drunk Master Of Thrillers Who Can't Recall Most Of The Eighties 

WANT IT.

FEEL IT.

FIND IT.

EARN IT.

OWN IT.

SOBRIETY.

8+8=16. But One May Get You.

One may be the loneliest number that you've ever seen; as the song lyric went.
Alcoholism is the vehicle which will drive you to that number.
Hop off that vehicle and ride sobriety for awhile.

Eight plus eight may equal sixteen,
However,
One bottle may also equal death.

Celebrate sobriety.
The numbers will always add up better
Than one bottle.

Two years and two days for me now.
Let's make the number of sobriety grow
To two and three and four in ad finem...
Join me in celebrating sobriety.

The Day After

God's blanket of peace and loving Grace 

Saves me from the stress and temptation evil throws at me. 

I'm very committed to sobriety. 

 It is the bride mentioned in the bible for me. 

Sobriety is my lifetime partner.
Ima Soberalcoholic!

6 August 2016. Equal To My Birthday

AWESOME CELEBRATION.  Awoke early, made breakfast and coffee.  Called my Brotherman and we set the early afternoon for adventure.  He's sober now almost a month...bird's of a feather. I was given a $15 gift card for a buffalo wings restaurant, Brotherman was given a $15 gift card for a national coffee chain, and I had two coupons for free asian chicken lettuce wraps from another food concept.

Of we went first to his bank out in the south part of our city.  Then a nice visit for a iced coconut milk caramel macchiato and blueberry scone. (Personal note: Way too many Americans pronounce scones, [sk-own], when most everybody else in all of the English speaking world pronounces them correctly as [sk-on].  After completing our iced coffee break, we began our slow return northward by driving a few miles and stopped for some buffalo chicken wings.  After some finger licking goodness (not the colonel's) we then continued on to our Asian restaurant destination where took our food to go. 

A visit to the river and watching the water flow by, the runners run by, and the birds and squirrels foraging, while we enjoyed a cigar was awesome.

After returning brotherman home, I returned home to enjoy ready some science and gardening magazines.

Gloriously I remember everything I did today.  Loving life. Living life. Enjoying life one day at a time soberly.

Be sober. 

Be vigilant. 

Alcohol is out there. 

Be sober. 

Be vigilant. 

Celebrate sobriety daily.

And so ends my second year and begins my third year of sobriety.

AWESOME CELEBRATION.

I Was So Hammered

Yes siree.  
Two years ago tonight I was so hammered.  
I don't even remember much about that evening.
Tonight I returned home from work, pet my cat after I cleaned his litter box, and awaited my priest's arrival and our dinner out.  
We celebrated his 31 July birthday and well as mine.  
We also celebrated my two years of sobriety.
Tonight's sleep is going to be so awesome.  
I am sober, full, and happy.
Life is awesome now even when the day is meh because I am no longer poisoning myself to death...
You know, with the stuff commonly called beer, wine, and spirits.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yes

---

Yes 

Thank God Almighty 

I Am Sober At Last 

To The Last 

Which Will Last 

Until My Last 

Day.

Looking On The Bright Side Of Life. Thank You Mom.

I have always tried to look on the bright side of things.  That's how I further convinced myself that I was not a practicing alcoholic for all those years.

Looking on the bright side of things now is even better as there is No fog from intoxication interfering my vision.  Looking on the bright side now helps me look past the sorrows I have and have caused when I was a practicing alcoholic, helping me make the corrects which are possible. Looking on the bright side helps me remain soberly victorious.  Oh sure there are bumps in the roadway along the way, however these are not a magnitude 9 interference anymore.  I have learned and continue learning how to successfully hurdle the challenges of life now with sobriety.

Mom always looked from and projected an aura of positivity by exampling the brighter side of life.  Only those of us very close to her learned of her rare projections of non-positivity during mom's last twenty-five years of life through three successful cancer victories and into her four battle which she lost to cancer.  3:1 victories against cancer is a pretty awesome scorecard for most everything else in life.  With cancer a loss is well deadly.  Mom lost with grace and always maintaining a positive attitude though to the point where she could not respond but was still responsive.  I learned lots about looking on the bright side of life.  Bummer that I cannot share with her my sobriety except to her in heaven.  I am so grateful that mom taught me so ardently though example how to always through everything look on the bright side of life.

Mom I thank you for helping me continue and learn about looking from the brighter side of life.

My mom is dead and I can not share with her, my victories of sobriety;
so I will share with you.
Always no matter what nor through what, look on the bright side of life.

Tomorrow And Two Years Of Finding Strength In The Forage Of Sobriety. The Brightest Side Of Life.

Thank you one and all for reading my blog.  From the looks of things it is indeed the one of you besides bots who is reading this.  Oh well.  It is what it is.

I began writing this blog in an attempt to spread the word about sobriety.  I will continue to do so as I have discovered in the process of blogging that this blog helps me also.  Everytime I log in as Ima Soberalcoholic I have the positive reinforcement of writing "I am a Sober alcoholic."  Doesn't matter if anybody reads this because I am a sober alcoholic.  Now I also want to make a connection with at least one other practicing alcoholic and help in at least part with my words of encouragement; and so I continue my blogging about celebrating sobriety.  And wishing it was socially acceptable to do so loudly and proudly proclaiming that through the strength in the forage of sobriety, I am sober.  Thank God Almighty, I Am Sober At Last.

Today two years ago was my last day of binging and I drank about 750ml in those four or five hours of last drinking.  Before bed I looked at the bottle with its remaining few ounces and said aloud, "F*** it.  I'm quitting tomorrow so I'll get rid of this by drinking it now so I won't have anymore."

Boom-bomb-sniggity-dawg and now tomorrow is my second anniversary of sobriety.

If you think you have a drinking problem you might have one.  Honestly examine yourself, a personal inventory if you will, and discover whether or not you might be a practicing alcoholic.  Break free from the slavery, be honestly honest with yourself and attend meeting of whatever kind or quit through your own volition and determination with yourself.

However you quit, quitting is best and the first step back to The Brightest Side Of Life.

I will indeed continue my blogging about celebrating sobriety and wishing it was socially acceptable to do so loudly and proudly proclaiming that through strength in the forage of sobriety, I am sober. Yes Indeed Thank God Almighty, I Am Sober At Last.

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Fabrications And Looking Beyond The Yellow Brick Road.

I always paid my child-support.  I ensured my child always had the proper sized violin and weekly lessons from when they were three and a half and asked to learn a musical instrument until they decided they didn't want to take violin lessons eleven years later at age 14.   I was a member of a class-action lawsuit against the state of Oklahoma for the deprivation of our civil rights by the corrupt (anti-)family court system.
I taught my child that they could be anything they wanted to be regardless.  And of course there is so much I was there for and did for them.  And I was a binge end of the day drinker too with an ever increasing addiction to alcohol.

May 2016 drove over 120 miles from my home to the town of my child's graduation arriving there a little before nine o'clock in the morning and the ten o'clock beginning of their graduation.
While texting with them from the arena they told me again what they had already text to me days before; That since I had not paid for any of their college education and their mom had, they would have no time to see me as that time was for their mom.  (They believe I should have waited to attend college myself and helped them pay for college. They've never had a job.)
When their name was announced for their diploma over the loudspeaker I whooped my single syllable nickname for them loudly (they text later that they heard me plainly and clearly).
I text towards the end of the ceremony my desire to see and hug them congratulations.
The reply was that they had no time to see me as that time was their mom's.
We left before the very end and found a restaurant where we enjoyed a nice meal before the two hour 120 mile return home.
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My ex-mother-in-law with whom I made peace with fifteen years ago, and who doesn't have my ex-wife's phone number and hasn't heard from her daughter in years, nor heard from my child in months, apologised again to me three weeks ago.  She is so sorry that her daughter, my ex-wife, has perpetuated (Click here=>Parent Alienation Syndrome)
Beyond my alcoholism there are other forces which can act upon my life.

I am responsible for my actions and they for their's.

Sometimes Aberrant Personality Disorder is just that.

Sometimes life just is what it is; 

And nothing more, nor nothing less.