If It's Not One Thing, It's Always Been Another. Living.

2003 in Colorado Springs...

After having to file court documents for the ninth summer in a row in order to exercise my daughter’s right for visitation with me, we were able to go on the first of our three year’s in a row of visit’s in Colorado Springs for my birthday.

After seventeen hour’s on three different bus’s we arrived at Garden of the God’s campground and our camper-cabin I had pre-reserved three weeks earlier.  We settled in and went to sleep exhausted around ten o’clock that night.

That night, our first night there and at about 02:00 in the morning with both my daughter and I sound asleep; there was a pounding at our cabin door. We were immediately awakened. My daughter was frightened.  Immediately I arose, went to the door, and standing there asked who was there?  Immediately the response was, “POLICE. I’m not kidding. Open the door now”. 

My first thought was “what the Truck has my daughter’s mom done now?” I immediately opened the cabin door. The officer asked if we were from Oklahoma? I said yes. He replied that the police department had received a phone call from Oklahoma which had reported that our cabin was producing METH. I asked if he was kidding? He said no. I explained I was there with my daughter for my birthday.  He sniffed at our door like a hound dog, then thanked us and left.

That’s just one of dozen’s and dozen's of things my ex-wife has done over past nineteen years.

I may have been perfecting the practicing of my alcoholism while we were married however, the action’s shown by her before, during and after our marriage have Never been warranted. My first ex-wife told her mom and sister years ago when she found out that I was re-marrying she was going to continue making my and now also my new wife’s life a living hell. For my second wife’s and my six-month wedding anniversary my second wife (at the time) sought and received an emergency protective order from a Tulsa County Court judge.  My second wife, now second ex-wife explained her leaving as being 75% because of my first ex-wife, and 25% because of me.  Yuppers. For my second wife, life had become a living hell from which she chose to escape.

I am so much more than a sober alcoholic. I am multi-textural. I am sober, hear me roar.

Not even the deep sorrows I feel from my daughter explaining to me during the Amtrak trip I shared with her 2010 to San Antonio, Texas, that she does not like me. She even shared with me again before our 8767 mile around the United States “to beat all our other trips” Amtrak journey to 24 states in 2015, that she does not like me. Even her not liking me to the point of not loving me will I ever return to practicing alcoholism. 

I enjoy train travel. I set a goal years ago, to take my daughter to all of the Amtrak states. That is also a part of who I am. I had to complete that goal of mine as much as I was allowed to.

I guess she does not even love me now since I’ve received no contact via mail, email, text, or phone call from her since August 2016.  

Even through this deep emotion of my daughter’s removal from me, 

I will not Ever return to practicing alcoholism. 

I am so much more than my alcoholism.

I have always been so much more than any kind of alcoholic practicing. 

I am multi-textural. 

One thing about me is that I am sober. 

There is so much more about me than my conquering my addiction.

I am a sober human hear me roar; 

about me there is so much more.

Gimme a chance.