Sure As Shoot.

 After way way way too too much money spent in repairing my vehicle, it wouldn't start today. I am aghast with everything. I take three steps forward to get my life on for myself, and BAM I get knocked three quarters of a mile backwards. I am running out of money soon. I just want to work. My back injury has been healed by God. My pain went from 85% to 15% literally overnight. Prayers are answered. I don't know what I would have done if my pain had not alleviated as immediately. I begged God to take away my pain so that I could take care of myself and build myself stronger physically. and begged God at the same time to allow me to show my lady what I am really made of. That I am more than a lion. I am a lion of God.

Once again my vehicle is getting towed away to hopefully, prayerfully, be repaired so that I can earn money with it before I hit financial ruin. I am trying and keep failing. What a major drag and bummer. It's my birthday tomorrow and I am struck without a vehicle and without money to rent a vehicle. Up the old highway without a paddle or something like that. It's hard for me to find any humour because there is so little to find funny. My heart breaks too still that I cannot be my lady's husband, you see I love her in more than one way and too private to write here.

I have a job interview over the phone with a school in Florida which my lady has also applied to. One position. I thought there were two when I applied and was invited to answer a second round of questions. I answered the questions and also refused an offer to interview. They requested I interview with them anyway even given my hesitation that my best friend was far more qualified than was I and stated the reasons why she is far more qualified than am I. And they still wanted to interview me.  And if I get the job I will may never see the most beautiful woman in the world again. And I love her so much that my heart will break unrepairable. I just want to build a life together better than any either of us have ever know possible to exist. I love her that much.

Oh the challenges of this summer. I really want her to get the job as it is the dream job in education that she has always wanted and I believe really deserves.

And so I am competing for the one person on Earth that I would give my life for. Not good at all. I will interview anyway and do my best. I can after all always refuse the job.

I love myself that much to do my best. And I hate every minute of doing my best. She deserves the job. And she even encouraged me to interview. I want the very best for us both, in the same place on Earth. Who knows maybe we both get hired. 

And so I pray. I love her that much.