Parental Alienation Syndrome- Beyond Just Being A Practicing Alcoholic. Reprinted From 2/9/17.

 November/December 2008 Issue 

Parental Alienation Syndrome — The Parent/Child Disconnect
By Amy J. L. Baker, PhD
Social Work Today
Vol. 8 No. 6 P. 26

PARENT ALIENATION SYNDROME ARTICLE LINK

Eight Manifestations of Parental Alienation Syndrome

1. A Campaign of Denigration
Alienated children are consumed with hatred of the targeted parent. They deny any positive past experiences and reject all contact and communication. Parents who were once loved and valued seemingly overnight become hated and feared.

2. Weak, Frivolous, and Absurd Rationalizations
When alienated children are questioned about the reasons for their intense hostility toward the targeted parent, the explanations offered are not of the magnitude that typically would lead a child to reject a parent. These children may complain about the parent’s eating habits, food preparation, or appearance. They may also make wild accusations that could not possibly be true.

3. Lack of Ambivalence About the Alienating Parent
Alienated children exhibit a lack of ambivalence about the alienating parent, demonstrating an automatic, reflexive, idealized support. That parent is perceived as perfect, while the other is perceived as wholly flawed. If an alienated child is asked to identify just one negative aspect of the alienating parent, he or she will probably draw a complete blank. This presentation is in contrast to the fact that most children have mixed feelings about even the best of parents and can usually talk about each parent as having both good and bad qualities.

4. The “Independent Thinker” Phenomenon
Even though alienated children appear to be unduly influenced by the alienating parent, they will adamantly insist that the decision to reject the targeted parent is theirs alone. They deny that their feelings about the targeted parent are in any way influenced by the alienating parent and often invoke the concept of free will to describe their decision.

5. Absence of Guilt About the Treatment of the Targeted Parent 
Alienated children typically appear rude, ungrateful, spiteful, and cold toward the targeted parent, and they appear to be impervious to feelings of guilt about their harsh treatment. Gratitude for gifts, favors, or child support provided by the targeted parent is nonexistent. Children with parental alienation syndrome will try to get whatever they can from that parent, declaring that it is owed to them.

6. Reflexive Support for the Alienating Parent in Parental Conflict 
Intact families, as well as recently separated and long-divorced couples, will have occasion for disagreement and conflict. In all cases, the alienated child will side with the alienating parent, regardless of how absurd or baseless that parent’s position may be. There is no willingness or attempt to be impartial when faced with interparental conflicts. Children with parental alienation syndrome have no interest in hearing the targeted parent’s point of view. Nothing the targeted parent could do or say makes any difference to these children.

7. Presence of Borrowed Scenarios 
Alienated children often make accusations toward the targeted parent that utilize phrases and ideas adopted from the alienating parent. Indications that a scenario is borrowed include the use of words or ideas that the child does not appear to understand, speaking in a scripted or robotic fashion, as well as making accusations that cannot be supported with detail.

8. Rejection of Extended Family
Finally, the hatred of the targeted parent spreads to his or her extended family. Not only is the targeted parent denigrated, despised, and avoided but so are his or her extended family. Formerly beloved grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins are suddenly and completely avoided and rejected.

Parental Alienation Syndrome- Beyond Just Being A Practicing Alcoholic.

Sure As Shoot.

 After way way way too too much money spent in repairing my vehicle, it wouldn't start today. I am aghast with everything. I take three steps forward to get my life on for myself, and BAM I get knocked three quarters of a mile backwards. I am running out of money soon. I just want to work. My back injury has been healed by God. My pain went from 85% to 15% literally overnight. Prayers are answered. I don't know what I would have done if my pain had not alleviated as immediately. I begged God to take away my pain so that I could take care of myself and build myself stronger physically. and begged God at the same time to allow me to show my lady what I am really made of. That I am more than a lion. I am a lion of God.

Once again my vehicle is getting towed away to hopefully, prayerfully, be repaired so that I can earn money with it before I hit financial ruin. I am trying and keep failing. What a major drag and bummer. It's my birthday tomorrow and I am struck without a vehicle and without money to rent a vehicle. Up the old highway without a paddle or something like that. It's hard for me to find any humour because there is so little to find funny. My heart breaks too still that I cannot be my lady's husband, you see I love her in more than one way and too private to write here.

I have a job interview over the phone with a school in Florida which my lady has also applied to. One position. I thought there were two when I applied and was invited to answer a second round of questions. I answered the questions and also refused an offer to interview. They requested I interview with them anyway even given my hesitation that my best friend was far more qualified than was I and stated the reasons why she is far more qualified than am I. And they still wanted to interview me.  And if I get the job I will may never see the most beautiful woman in the world again. And I love her so much that my heart will break unrepairable. I just want to build a life together better than any either of us have ever know possible to exist. I love her that much.

Oh the challenges of this summer. I really want her to get the job as it is the dream job in education that she has always wanted and I believe really deserves.

And so I am competing for the one person on Earth that I would give my life for. Not good at all. I will interview anyway and do my best. I can after all always refuse the job.

I love myself that much to do my best. And I hate every minute of doing my best. She deserves the job. And she even encouraged me to interview. I want the very best for us both, in the same place on Earth. Who knows maybe we both get hired. 

And so I pray. I love her that much.

I Awoke Feeling Alone Today

 That I had to move on alone in life again. That the relationship we were building isn't forever and that the best team I have ever been honoured to be a member of, isn't anymore. 

That someday soon the opportunity of seeing and sharing time with the person I love so richly, freely, deeply, will be a memory of the greatest time in my life. Of course I want to be with her forever whatever forever is, however she never could promise me forever. So I prayed that God would answer my prayers that we could be forever. I mean He is God and this is so right and good why wouldn't he answer my earnest and honest prayer. It's purely for good so why wouldn't He answer my prayer to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world?

I awoke feeling alone today. Not as alone as I felt last year. I waited meeting women until I knew or could think I knew that their heart was pure. And I met my lady. And truly believed God had matched me with someone who would be my partner. Someone as much my best friend (she still is) and more. My wife.

Why get married at my old age? Someone who I can count on each minute of each day. Someone to be there for and to be there for me. Touch. Companionship. Hugs and kisses and all the growth of being forever whatever forever could be built by us to be happier than ever we had been. That's all. To awaken with my best friend daily and build better each day, that's what I think about getting married at my old age. To experience love and happiness and growth together under the same roof and in the same home sharing life and love the best we can and better more still.

I awoke feeling very alone today. Alone to carry on in life a far better man than ever I thought or prayed or ever dreamed that I could grow. But alone. Alone without her in my life in growing partnership and yes growing deeper together in marriage. That is what I most feel alone about today. That we are not going to be married. That I am not going to get to enjoy being married to the most wonderful wife in the world.

You see I love her that much, and I awoke feeling alone today. Cannot explain fully why. I just awoke feeling alone today. Sober thankfully. Alone unthankfully. 

I love her more than I ever thought was possible to love.

And I awoke feeling alone today accepting that there is no forever whatever forever is for us. And I am so very sad.

I love her that much. She is my best friend, her beauty from out to deeply within is exquisite. 

I awoke feeling alone today. Hollow that my prayers are not to be. I love her that much to want what she wants and forever whatever forever is, is not to be.

I will continue to make my way in life sober. I will continue to make my life without my dreams and prayers answered as to forever, although my dreams and prayers are answered as I have met the best friend I have ever known. I am just so very sad that I can not be her husband.

I am trying so hard to not see this as black and white, and see from the  middle. I just continue to see that I won't be her husband and I feel alone today.

Blessed and sober, and sad.

Hurt.

 Hurt throughout last night. Lower back and right hip. Up and down. Sleep and pain. Praying for Jesus' healing touch to relieve my physical pain. Praying Jesus's healing touch to help me understand on how normal men think. How those normal men stand as lions leading their relationship. (Remembering that lions protect the family of cubs and lionesses, while the lionesses are the predominate hunters and providers.) A leader whose back pain prevented me from working today. A lion who is not providing for his own domain. Not succeeding therefore... 

Precarious position right now. I have rent for this come month and a repaired vehicle I must use to earn money, and unable to have any ability to do so today. Pain to walk and pain to move. And to that end unceasingly praying that Sweet Jesus heals my injury enough so that I may work in the morning come what may be. Of course no thought of booze I mention since this is supposed to be a sobriety blog, right?

How can I be the Godly leader in any relationship much less the relationship with My Lady, when I have been unable to provide for myself since the first of June because of vehicle and lack of employment options?  How can I bee what she needs when I have not been able to make my way along this long long summer. Opportunities to work as I could for my best friend cleaning, downloading files, staffing her office were a blessing for us both.

I am trying so hard to succeed and yet I continue not getting it on how to truly succeed. I continue failing in so many of my sober life and yet I continue trying. Nothing is ever going to rob me of my ability to try until death. And try I will to succeed 1, professionally, 2, personally, 3, relationship-wise, because I will always care about succeeding in all else I attempt with as great a freedom and success as do I and have continued as I have with my sobriety. I am really trying to learn and succeed in all three. I really want to learn how to love better than now I know how.

Even as I type this I have been praying for the healing of my back and for My Lady. Praying to learn how better to love.

My Heart Is I Show Her This Love Always.

 

Join me and live in your life unfettered by one milliliter at a time daily too.

I was nearing ETOH toxicity (in the disunity of my last drunkard 21 days, 7 years ago today) from my liver being unable to function properly and the build up of ammonia poisoning my mind. I was not living anymore at this point. I was surviving in the functionality of killing myself one milliliter at a time.

☦Now I'm Living this beautiful life and skid in from its amazingly awesome ride soberly and exclaim profound utterances of joy and wonderment about life, and too Living with liberation celebrating the beginning of and ending of each day soberly; and it is a beautiful wonderment I have God to Praise forever for; first here and then thank Him personally at my time of death still in the freedom of my sobriety.
Join me and live in your life unfettered by one milliliter at a time daily too.
Thank God Almighty I Am Sober At Last.
Join me.

I Awoke At 0437

 Friday, Saturday, Sunday and now Monday night falling asleep and awakening the next morning with soft slow warm tears drawing down my face. And now awakening like I did nine months ago. At least awakening and blogging this will not be read until My Beautiful Loving Best Friend has decided to whether she will be going East or staying here to find her heart's desire. This is a middle of the night blog so pardon my poor everything in writing this. I need to write out something so that I hopefully can go back to sleep soon. 

I am humbled that I know love this rich and deep and pure and I will always want what is best for her because I love her that much. I am blessed by God for knowing her for whatever time I am blessed.

I've learned with a CPAP that crying causes my nose to get stuffy and then I cannot breathe and use mu CPAP. So I hold inside my sorrow until I am so full that my tears flow slowly warmly from my eyes down my cheeks. You see I love her that much.

Well back to bed and hopefully back to sleep.

 

I Am Sad.

I'm Taking A Journey Through My Blog Reminding Myself The Joys I Have In My Living Life Soberly.

 With my memory I usually only need a mnemonic device to remember details. It is much more fun and healthy to remember the greatest of times, especially when you can share them with those you love. A look at an excerpt form the past.

"25 JUNE 2016

One Thing Remains.

The one thing that I've learned is that a place, no matter how far and beautiful it is, will only be a place just like any other. Until you share it with someone else.  

The joy of being in a particular place in time which is of beauty is an exquisite and profound realization.  Appreciation which runs so deeply in the soul and conscientiousness of this place encapsulates in our memory brightly.

The one thing that I've learned is that a place, no matter how far and beautiful it is, remains a place unlike any other, Until I share it with you.  Sobriety is this place for me."

Continuing this on 12 July 2021:

First Written 29 June 2016. And I Still Remember The Pain. I Still Celebrate The Joy Of Freedom From My Pains Of Practicing Alcoholism./

"I am scared that I will forget the pains I knew while drinking the further I remain sober.  There is a scar on my bicep of a burn from when I burned myself just a few weeks before I became a sober alcoholic.  Didn't even realize I'd burned myself until the next morning when I saw the seared flesh and suddenly remembered falling backwards when pulling the pan of baked chicken from the 425° oven and the pan hitting and searing me.  Sometimes when I want or need the memories returned, I lift my sleeve, look and remember, and then proudly thank God Almighty that I am living another day sober."

My Beautiful Lady drew a temporary tattoo over my burn scar several month's ago. It was a pretty scar for the first time ever. Made more beautiful from the love with which sshe sees me from.

Never To Judge As That Is For God.

 Never To Judge As That Is For God.

Never to judge as that is for God.

Always pray for their release.
Always pray for their freedom.
Freedom to own their lives again.

Free to live their lives soberly.

On bended knee I always pray,
Oh God, please be merciful to me.

Please always keep me free soberly.

On bended knee I always pray,
Oh God, you have been merciful to me.
Sober I am finally free.

Free to gain life and to know love
Oh God, you are merciful to me.

Since the follow by email link is going defunct, Please use the follow tab which is in the upper right of the top left column.

 Since the follow by email link is going defunct, Please use the follow tab which is in the upper right of the top left column. That way you can enjoy the same great reading as you do if you right now are following "The Forage" via the follow by email entry.

If this is not clear hopefully one of my regular readers who I know will 411 me please and I will respost with greater clarity.

Some Explanations Of What Neurodiversity: High Functioning Autism (Asperger’s Syndrome) is.

I really wish I was Neurotypical.

Recently I have posted how I am Neurodivergent so here is several links to explain,

Neurotypical vs. Neurodivergent: What’s the Difference?

Neurodiversity

Neurotypical Neurodivergent dichotomy

And Asperger's,

Neurodiversity: High Functioning Autism (Asperger’s Syndrome)

Each Day

 

Each sunrise and sunset such I've known before in life, 

Never have been as bright, 

As since when my heart first discovered hers. 

Every voice I have heard, 

Has never been such serene song, 

As when my ears fill with her music. 

All the faces I have seen, 

Never sparked my totality so full of love, 

As when I look upon her face. 

And I am blessed yes. 

Thank God Almighty, He blessed me with meeting her. 

And I am so ever very grateful. 

Amen.

The WWW. My Deal. Life Of A Sober Alcoholic Who Is Neural-Divergent. 6 Years And 11 Months Sober Today.

 On the 18th of June there were 145 views of this blog. Usual traffic is around 5 or 6.         WOW I wonder where all the folks from France, Germany, The Netherlands, and The USA found my sobriety blog? July 1st there were 5 views also from those 4 countries.

Sure do hate it (and thankful) when memories come to the surface of my assaults. No amount of alcohol ever erased my recall, which was tucked back in the very recess of my memories. It is the feeling of powerlessness. Powerlessness to shift or change the compounded affects from a lifetime of dodgeballing my way away from remembering recessed details.   BAM then recall and dealing with memories (especially remembering yesterday that 5 July was one assault day upon me). Definitely better now to remember and deal with my emotions now, rather than run away from the discomfort of them.  Better to heal and deal so that my relationship with My Lady, The Most Beautiful Woman In The World continues growing stronger (I worry about that).  Booze is not even in consideration. My release from the grasp of overdrinking and into death is complete. Although daily I work on it as all sober alcoholics should do, I am no longer the moth diving towards the flickering light of the alcoholic pounding down the booze candle.

I will be contacting a cousin of mine who chose to separate herself from the rest of the family: that Uncle's side of the family: and asking her if there were other children the Uncle abused? 

Living as a Neural-Divergent now that I know I am such and also an Asperger's person is profound. Realizing events from my past were caused in part and in full by the way my brain thinks SUCKS. Sucks big when I remember the jobs, friends, relationships, possible relationships that I lost or that never came to fruition. My Beautiful Girlfriend says my energy has been down for the past couple of months; and once she shared that, then I realized my mental attention has been working in overdrive to try and not make those mistakes again. My thinking causes me to do things which I think are kind and loving which turn out to be for the receiver to be quite the opposite.  Profoundly sucks that my Neural-Divergence and my Asperger's continues to affect my relationship. 

I spent many years not liking yes hating myself for who I was. Being different from everyone else has its real sucky moments. Being misunderstood and misunderstanding social "norms" and clues leads to sorrow for me sometimes even now.  Not being the man I am supposed to be is profound in the past, now, and in the future.  Not fitting in when I really thought I was trying and doing a great job of fitting in sucks.

I am sober today 6 years and 11 months today. I am grateful for today and my sobriety. I love life and living it without the burdens of practicing alcoholism.  Thank God Almighty I Am Sober. Sober At Last To Live, Learn, Love without the practicing alcoholics impediments.  Never as in this Neural-Divergent Asperger person will never drink alcohol again.  My worse day sober is always better than my best day as a practicing alcoholic.