I must immediately change my thinking into stronger more like everybody else thinking. Not being considered normal is heavy and sad. How to keep my already positive attributes while changing how I think without changing the good parts of me will be an interesting work. I want to be better for all occasions. Friendship, courtship, relationship, workship, sailing smoothly with me understanding quickly what is transpiring and my appropriately responding to almost every occasion reasonably and correctly with arguing or seeming to argue, when in reality I see that I am trying to understand. Arguing is the furthest from my mind. I do not like to argue. I only want to understand.
So today forward I will question every response before I respond. Today forward I will question every action of mine.
And honestly think before speaking. I have heard that before throughout life and now I understand why. And it makes me sad realizing the lost. Looking forward to the gain I have to realize in order to be more like most everyone else. Looking forward to learning more about myself and how to succeed when never before have I really succeeded. In all aspects of my life I really desire to succeed. I have experienced too much sadness from not understanding and not succeeding because I did not understand I was fully at fault. Understanding that I can make a difference in my life is vastly important now to me. How to accomplish my success is daunting yet I somehow know because of the confidence My Lady has in my successes. She believes in my abilities like no one else ever has shared. I really am trying to see in full colour and not just black and white. Her belief in me is awesome. That she has put up with my being so different is a blessing. I can be quite a handful trying to make my way soberly in my second relationship in seven years. My Lady has been very patient through my learning about her, as much as I pray to have been patient in my learning about her ins and outs.
She has brought me to such a greater understanding of my differences and I am trying to learn how to wield my new relationship within myself to succeed better than ever I have before. That's an easy mark to hit lol. My Lady has opened my world.
I am struggling to accept my neurodivergence, and work away from that tag and redefine myself into the man whom I have always wanted to be. I just want to be the best man in life now.
God grant me the serenity.
God help me be a better me that I know I can be.
Gad thank you for introducing me to My Lady, whom I am forever grateful for loving me even when I have not been too loveable.
God thank you for my sobriety which I love above all else here on earth.
God help my appreciate my being different than most others around, and cast off the weight I feel burdened with by being different than most everyone else.
God help me accept that I have failed in my past, and accept that the is a brighter future now ahead of me.
Dear God I really love and desire more time with My Lady.
God grant me the wisdom to accept that more time with My Lady may not be.
God thank you for creating me for who I am, and for whom I can become with your grace and my working on changing how I think, and thinking before I speak.
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