Those Things I Cannot Change

 I do not like being different. Being neurodivergent is no fun. Wish I may wish I might...wish I was neurotypical tonight.

Not getting the clues about life is no fun. Realizing after the fact that I was thinking and speaking like I don't want to do anymore is frustrating; especially when it leads to me tying to understand. Sometimes thing that don't need to be thought too much about or thought about not at all.

I wish I thought like everyone else. Being different is no fun. I wish I could just be me and just converse with understanding like everybody else does. No fun working to be and not just being. Normal people have to enjoy conversing more since they "get" what they need to get, and I don't "get" it many times. Many many times I don't get it.

Or worse think that I am conversing "properly" or asking a question, and not get what I should say and do just like "normal" people do. And without over thinking it.

 I do not like being different. Being neurodivergent is no fun. 

Really sucks being me. Pity party now lol. Hey I do not nor will not drink alcohol of any form again. Allow me please to post my struggle with finally coming to grips with finally understanding that I really do have Asperger's and am neurodivergent. I am struggling to manage and do much better in communicating with people and make sure that I am effectively positively communicating what and how I really feel. 

Wish I may wish I might...wish I was neurotypical tonight.

 I do not like being different. Being neurodivergent is no fun. 

I have really been praying acceptance in accepting that My Lady may move away. Just accepting that she will be better off away from here. Just praying for her very best. Just loving her in the moment here and now. Only appreciating today and all the beauty we may enjoy today. Just really trying to bravely accept that she may leave. Really praying that whatever she does she has The Blessings of Great Success. I have never loved another so deeply, so greatly. Nine of the most beautiful months I have ever experienced in my life we celebrated yesterday the 16th. The greatest love of my life. and today we have each other. My goodness how greatly I love My Lady. I always pray for her best forever. Wherever her forever is I will pray for her forever. You see I love her so much.

I love her so much that I forever pray that her forever wherever her forever is, is forever happiest forever for My Lady.

 I do not like being different. Being neurodivergent is no fun. Wish I may wish I might...wish I was neurotypical tonight.

 I do not like being different. Being neurodivergent is no fun. 

I wish I thought like everyone else. Being different is no fun. 

Sobriety is forever for me whatever my forever is to be. I love my sobriety more than anything else in my life.

I do not like being different. Being neurodivergent is no fun. Wish I may wish I might...wish I was neurotypical tonight.

I do not like being different. Being neurodivergent is no fun. Wish I may wish I might...wish I was neurotypical tonight.