25 Days Until 4 Years Thank God Almighty

SWEET.  Four years of sobriety coming up for me. I really want to post on FB on my anniversary 6 August about my sobriety and what I believe about the terms and definitions of alcoholic. I believe there is the practicing alcoholic and the sober alcoholic; not just the alcoholic. Yes there is always a chance of relapse however, sober is sober and practicing is drinking.

Now is the time to give your opinion aboout whether I should or should Not publicly pronounce my sobriety. Message me using the tab I've provided and please share what's on your mind.




Another note... My appoligies to my friend about whom I've rallied about on this blog many times.  He is sober and staying that way through  conviction. My appoligies to him for my strong and almost offensive language from time to time.

6/24/16 copied cut from which original post written...AKA Posting Schlock which I didn't post two years ago.

I cleared my drafts by posting this bit of schlock which was once important for me to write, and now I want to share.  Sharing my initial struggle with you the readers now, which I over came upon my beginning walk of sobriety, is refrreshing for me. Thank you for your tolerance of my posting this.

"Pulse Of Life...

Part two…"

WOW.  I did not realize as I wrote my last post how much provocative thought I would experience.  I really hadn’t thought about just what exactly I had gone through those first four months, which equals a semester and was my time measure then.  Just making it through my part-time job, trying to study before and after work.  Then I went to class.  Three real classes and one online class.  I had to account for time to work on my online meteorology class.  I had to attend and do classwork for a poly-sci class, a Native American Arts class, and a World War II class.  My sleep each night was between bad and worse but, at least I was sober.  Each night I would say The Lord’s Prayer, “Now I lay me down to sleep” prayer, and The Serenity Prayer. 

Each Political Science class was brutal for none other than firstly, the professor was so dry and boring that sunshine almost never stuck his head into the room.  Never mind that I had no attention span.  Three times through the semester the professor told us she never posted the class notes online because otherwise nobody would ever show up to her class.  No kidding the students would check each other’s notes to make sure they got it all.  My hand cramped writing notes from 16:30-19:20 each Tuesday, flexing my hand during the ten-minute break.   I already mentioned it once however, even a lifelong sober person in class found her to be extremely boring, dry, and uninspiring of a lecturing disseminating provider of information.  Try doing that for the first sixteen weeks of sobriety.  I took an incomplete in this class the week of mom’s dying and completed the paper and test still due by June of 2015 with a “B”.

Native American Arts was fun and although I struggled, I survived. Earned a “B”.

Meteorology was awesome and I struggled a little and I survived with a "B".

World War II History was interesting since I had lots of prior knowledge about this subject already.  Sometime after dad died 22 October we watched two films two weeks in a row.  One was of the Battle of the Bulge and one was of the German winter campaign against Russia.  Both showed pictures of stacks of frozen dead soldiers.  Tough viewing under any circumstances.  OH BOY if there was one day worse in this class it was when we were watching Kamikaze pilots doing shots of Saki before their mission.  I could taste and smell and thought about warm Saki again.  Good thing for three things.  One, I was in a 7:20-10PM class and liquor stores close at 9PM.  Two, I was too grateful being sober.  Three, I was also grateful being sober.  I earned an "A" for my semester's only "A".

The week before final’s week is traditionally called, “Dead week.”  Mom was also dying and died, 5 December ‘14, the Friday during my semester’s dead week.  

By time of my 2 Dec. ’14 Tuesday WWII class I’d spent two days with mom, who by this point had been returned to her home and bedroom to die. 

I placed my cell phone next to me at my table.  When the professor (Who HATES cell phone usage in class) handed me my test paper I told him, “My mom’s dying right now and if she begins to die I need to go.”  He asked me if I really wanted to be there right then?

That evening before I left mom’s side and go on to my WWII class, we said the Lord’s Prayer as we always had together for many years.  I told her I needed to go to class.  She nodded yes, and replied, “Yes go.”  Mom was as strong of a supporter and believer in my ability to complete my fulltime education and earn my bachelor’s degree as my priest and I were. 

So I am actually chronologically assimilating my walk in sobriety’s notes and will write more later about my joy and sorrows of those first sixteen weeks of sobriety.

To Be Continued…

Pulse Of Life. The Second Sixteen Weeks Of Sobriety

Twelve hours of classes.

A 4700 level class, Philosophy, Death and Dying where I wrote seven papers about death including my own advanced directive and in detail.

A 4900 Independent study history class which I wrote a paper about the relationship between World War II German rocketry, and the Manhattan Project.

A 3700 relationship Sociology where I wrote 22 critiques and two papers on relationships.

And a 4300 level History of Native Americans with four tests, a final and a book review on Samson Occum's papers written while a Native American Preacher in Colonial America.

Unfortunately, Even Those Who Know My Real Identity, Never Mention Or Talk About These Posts.

Unfortunately, Even Those Who Know My Real Identity, Never Mention Or Talk About These Posts.  Sobriety shouldn't be hidden like alcoholism is.  Sobriety should be celebrated always.

I pulled off traveling with my now 24 year old "child", over the course of thirteen years (2002-20015) to 41 states and D.C.; celebrating the day of my birthday with my child on top of Pike's Peak three times; in Dallas and San Antonio many times; as well as San Diego and Springfield Massachusetts.  Additionally, over 30,000+ Amtrak miles. All accomplished from wages earned while working as a waiter trainer, delivery driver, organic market gardener, massage therapist, and college student.  Additionally, I brought my child via Amtrak to Dallas for the OU/texas game, providing weekend hotel and food too, all four years of my child's college.  My early graduation present for my child and early graduation present for myself was a 25 state and D.C., 7867 mile, two week Amtrak journey May 2015.  During the trip there was little engagement from my daughter; nothing  of any promise for a growing relationship.  Upon return to our hometown, my daughter had a number of my items which I needed; and for which she took weeks returning to me.

Why do I mention this?  During all the train travel I prayed an undividable bound would grow.  Especially after my gaining my sobriety.  Throughout the entire 7967 mile 2015 train trip, and for months before the epic journey, I shared with my daughter my hope that our relationship would grow.  Upon our completion of the journey, my prayers, hopes, and desires were to no avail.  I heard from her less and less and then after her May 2016 graduation from University, and most of her contact withered away.  
After Father's Day 2016, and days from my July birthday, I have never heard from her again. 
Certainly you blame this lack of care and contact to my past practicing alcoholism, and do not know or haven't read of my X's Parent Alienation Syndrome inducement.  Yes I have the responcibility for and of my former alcoholic tendancies. I have no controll over the vitrol of hate for which my X continues to practice her alienation from me, for my daughter from her maternal grandmom and aunt. 

Even with this sadness and loss of contact with my daughter, and my continual prayers for a "prodigal daughter" senario, I remain stedfastly committed to my sobriety.
Nothing and I do state nothing will return me to practicing my alcoholism and all the misery my alcoholism brought me.

I Am Sober. Thank God Almighty I Am Sober At Last. And That Will Last God Helping Always.
One day at a time. Thank God Almighty I Am Free And Sober At Last.

WOW. It's Been Quite Some Time Since I Last Posted.

Sobriety is still my embrace X3. Been life going on since I last posted. Building my personal relationships stronger daily. Building my pesonal friendships better daily.
For those of you who still receive my posts, thank you.
Life has challenges and I am still grateful daily that THANK GOD ALMIGHTY, I AM FREE AT LAST. Conquering daily challenges still remains a deep knee bender for me. My four year anniversary free from alcohol is only two months away. Hiroshima Day. 6 August.
Thank God Almighty I Am Sober At Last.

Life Is Awesome With Freedom From Addiction:^)

I am still strong in my forage of sobriety; never to return. Yes Sean Connery, did say never say never again. That's him and this is me, Ima Sober Alcoholic. I cannot and will not go back. I look forward now with greater strength and resolve in my awesome happiness living a sober clean and awesome life by living day by day rejoicing my sobriety.

I will write more soon as I am finally able to digest and divest myself from this years first quarter's happenings; and figuratively have regained my voice and desire to publish my strength's of, from, and for my deepest and most sincere desire to remain sober.

The growth of love with my best friend, "Buttercup" is The best experience I've ever experienced. She is the woman of my deep, deep prayers, and I am so blessed in being able to offer Buttercup myself clean and sober. I enjoy no longer looking back, instead I love looking forward daily now.

Gotta tell you tho, nicotine is awful hard to quit however, with my strength and knowledge gained from my freedom from alcohol, I don't B.S. myself anymore about quitting nicotine.
The street "cred" I've gained from now being sober from alcohol now continues to guide me in my remaining free from nicotine.
Today is year 3, month 2, week 3, day 3, free Thank God Almighty free from ETOH.
Today is week 6, day 3, Thank God Almighty free from nicotine.
Today is week 3, day 3, Thank God Almighty free from non-medicinal chronic cannabinoids. 

(Neural stimulating, C.B.D.'s are an honest Godsend)

With my knowledge gained from my honesty with myself about my alcoholic abuses, I am Thank God Almighty Free...I am free at last.

GOTTA TELL YOU THO, nicotine gum sure goes a long way curtailing my occasional now cravings from nicotine withdrawal.  Nicotine is one hard thing to quit and Thank God Almighty I Am Free At Last:^)

I Love You Buttercup.
MORE AND MORE!
Thank you for being my best friend you are an awesome woman!

gotta take a break and go for a walk

February and March of this year were incredible months. I need time to digest more before regurgitating more of the story.

Time for me to go take a four mile walk.

TTFN.

WOW. Lot's Happened Since Last I Posted. WARNING: I'm Gonna Be Ranting.

Let me first condense what I have to say here and now, then expound with greater detail soon as I am just now decompressing from THE Most Interesting five weeks I've ever had. Soooo here goes my initial rant.

What the heck do my practicing alcoholic friend's think, or rather cannot possibly be thinking. To even be around me when they're or you're drinking is plane old stupid I am telling you what.
My sense of smell has always been very good however, now that I am a sober alcoholic I have an ever better...Like Really darned Great sense of smell.
Sheet you think you can hide that stinking smell of alcohol oozing from your pores? REALLY???
You really are stupid!
I know that smell!
I've stunk that smell from my own pores and now find that smell in particular,
Extremely,
Totally,
Horribly,
THE WORSE SMELL IN THE WORLD.

AND for that friend of mine since Ronald Reagan's last term in office...
Fooled me once Sept. 2016 when we came out to Taos when you broke your transverse process of your back. You probably were drinking when you slipped and broke it in the first place.
And Yet still I believed you this past 15 February 2017 when I picked you up in Taos.
Stupid me a second time to believe you were sober. Stupid me.
DID you really think even you could somehow Superman your way through your alcoholic consumption and not stinky smell??? REALLY??? That's stupid. You're stupid! 
You are SO lucky I didn't boot your arse out onto the Arizona desert like I promised I would if you drank.
What did I stupidly believe? You THAT'S what. YOU!!! 
That stinking smell I will never ever forget on any person.
And you actually fooled me. You smelled okay initially.
Even after you "forgot" your Big Book for us to work on while driving, 
I actually believed, hesitantly tho, that you forgot it.

So when I saw you tip your head back three times while standing up facing the toilet in a closed stall; I guess you thought that big hat hid you and that I wasn't still by then suspicious? So while we drove further towards Mesa, AZ, I prayed God what to do with you.
Leave you there on the highway?
Then your 1, 2, 3, 4, etc...breaches of trust. 
Believed you again because by this time I was so stressed out trying to retrieve my friend from that crappy hospital he was stuck in, I endured with you. 
AND it was going to cost me over $100.00 to get rid of your stinking, drinking, arse.
I struggled as a Christian and as a friend.

That second night when you left at three thirty in the morning and didn't return until five thirty was the IT. Bus ticket time.
You had to GO! I was not and am not going to enable you one single iota more. Sober up.

One of these day's it'd be nice for you to apologize. 
But then again first you will have to sober up won't you?

I am beginning Al-anon to further help me understand as a sober alcoholic what ravages I raged also upon others while I was a practicing alcoholic. 

I will write more about my own screw up/ups next time.

More soon.
Love,
Ima Soberalcoholic

BEST $109 I EVER SPENT IN MY LIFETIME.

One way to get rid of the dead weight of a stinking drinking lying practicing alcoholic is to apply bus ticket therapy. Bloody Well Did Me Awesome Wonderful!!!
Heck all I knew was Greyhound would eventually get him to Albuquerque and the commuter rail to Santa Fe and the region bus to Taos. I didn't care at all about scheduling because I was finally free of my drinking lying friend of 33 years. Last straw for this sober alcoholic and reflection time.

BOY IS THERE MORE TO THIS STORY TO COME.

Maricopa County Health and Sheriff's Department Report's Filled Out By Me.

Much much more on this!!!!

A Drive Testing Every Limit Of My Christianity AND Compassion.

Drinking stinking fool thought he could sneak a drink by me for a week? SHEET!!!
I picked him up in Taos. Should have known he was sinking drinking lying when he forgot his Big Book. He's lucky during this day he didn't end up roadside like I promised, buzzard snack and all!!!

This day is so full of fun to report we BOTH gotta come back to this page!!!