I cleared my drafts by posting this bit of schlock which was once important for me to write, and now I want to share. Sharing my initial struggle with you the readers now, which I over came upon my beginning walk of sobriety, is refrreshing for me. Thank you for your tolerance of my posting this.
"Pulse Of Life...
Part two…"
WOW. I did not realize as I wrote my last post how much provocative thought I would experience. I really hadn’t thought about just what exactly I had gone through those first four months, which equals a semester and was my time measure then. Just making it through my part-time job, trying to study before and after work. Then I went to class. Three real classes and one online class. I had to account for time to work on my online meteorology class. I had to attend and do classwork for a poly-sci class, a Native American Arts class, and a World War II class. My sleep each night was between bad and worse but, at least I was sober. Each night I would say The Lord’s Prayer, “Now I lay me down to sleep” prayer, and The Serenity Prayer.
Each Political Science class was brutal for none other than firstly, the professor was so dry and boring that sunshine almost never stuck his head into the room. Never mind that I had no attention span. Three times through the semester the professor told us she never posted the class notes online because otherwise nobody would ever show up to her class. No kidding the students would check each other’s notes to make sure they got it all. My hand cramped writing notes from 16:30-19:20 each Tuesday, flexing my hand during the ten-minute break. I already mentioned it once however, even a lifelong sober person in class found her to be extremely boring, dry, and uninspiring of a lecturing disseminating provider of information. Try doing that for the first sixteen weeks of sobriety. I took an incomplete in this class the week of mom’s dying and completed the paper and test still due by June of 2015 with a “B”.
Native American Arts was fun and although I struggled, I survived. Earned a “B”.
Meteorology was awesome and I struggled a little and I survived with a "B".
World War II History was interesting since I had lots of prior knowledge about this subject already. Sometime after dad died 22 October we watched two films two weeks in a row. One was of the Battle of the Bulge and one was of the German winter campaign against Russia. Both showed pictures of stacks of frozen dead soldiers. Tough viewing under any circumstances. OH BOY if there was one day worse in this class it was when we were watching Kamikaze pilots doing shots of Saki before their mission. I could taste and smell and thought about warm Saki again. Good thing for three things. One, I was in a 7:20-10PM class and liquor stores close at 9PM. Two, I was too grateful being sober. Three, I was also grateful being sober. I earned an "A" for my semester's only "A".
The week before final’s week is traditionally called, “Dead week.” Mom was also dying and died, 5 December ‘14, the Friday during my semester’s dead week.
By time of my 2 Dec. ’14 Tuesday WWII class I’d spent two days with mom, who by this point had been returned to her home and bedroom to die.
I placed my cell phone next to me at my table. When the professor (Who HATES cell phone usage in class) handed me my test paper I told him, “My mom’s dying right now and if she begins to die I need to go.” He asked me if I really wanted to be there right then?
That evening before I left mom’s side and go on to my WWII class, we said the Lord’s Prayer as we always had together for many years. I told her I needed to go to class. She nodded yes, and replied, “Yes go.” Mom was as strong of a supporter and believer in my ability to complete my fulltime education and earn my bachelor’s degree as my priest and I were.
So I am actually chronologically assimilating my walk in sobriety’s notes and will write more later about my joy and sorrows of those first sixteen weeks of sobriety.
To Be Continued…
Pulse Of Life. The Second Sixteen Weeks Of Sobriety
Twelve hours of classes.
A 4700 level class, Philosophy, Death and Dying where I wrote seven papers about death including my own advanced directive and in detail.
A 4900 Independent study history class which I wrote a paper about the relationship between World War II German rocketry, and the Manhattan Project.
A 3700 relationship Sociology where I wrote 22 critiques and two papers on relationships.
And a 4300 level History of Native Americans with four tests, a final and a book review on Samson Occum's papers written while a Native American Preacher in Colonial America.
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