Traditions

"Better watch out."  "Never know when they're going to drink again."  "I can handle my drinking. Too bad they can't."  Blasted traditional mainstream thinking about alcoholics.

I know my intent, desire, resolve, resolution, and confounded determination, can carry me on and through sobriety with the strength of my being honest with myself.  Honesty in knowing that I am at risk of resumption of my practicing alcoholism; that I will be always at risk.  My strength comes from knowing these risks and practicing always in being honest with myself.  Hard being honest with oneself regardless of the unacceptable and risky behaviors, whether it's constantly driving over speed limit, over eating, or consuming alcohol in whatever form.  For simplification this blog will be about honesty in strength of knowing alcohol is be disaster for many of us, which without cessation, we can and will lose everything truly important.

So if I lose my self respect when I am a practicing alcoholic; why then must I hide in the shadows now that I have been a sober alcoholic twenty-one months, three weeks, and two days?  Have I brought so much shame for my consumption previous, that those who continue practicing consumption of alcoholic spirits now are scared of what might befall them from alcohol?  Am I a pariah since I drank more than my lifetime fair share of ethanol is such a short time?  Is there something more to this ostracizing of sober alcoholics than what exactly?  The shame, anger, and betrayal felt by those we have left in our wake is a problem.  Our hurting them will be in a future installment...For now this is about why we in our sobriety should feel compelled to hide the truth of our past and what we overcome.  We should only feel the pride and satisfaction of our perseverance of not only having come to being sober, but also in our maintenance of our sobriety.

The strength of my honesty in and of myself is that I am darned proud I am sober.  I begged God to help me obtain sobriety every morning for years.  One day I just could not stand another day feeling like half-baked death twice warmed up.  I have looked forward from that day of my remaining sober.  I am proud to be sober.  "But you never know when alcoholics might drink again. It happens...it's okay...you can just quit again..." said a relative of mine.

I waited years while knowing deep down that I was an alcoholic who was practicing; deep down I also knew I was lying to myself.  Dear God Almighty, after waiting those decades before I was honest with myself about my alcoholism and took my first steps and quit; I can tell you this for certain, I am never drinking alcohol again.
I AM SOBER.  THANK GOD ALMIGHTY I AM SOBER AT LAST.

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